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adam sandler - the mayor of pussytown lyrics

yo it’s 2004 and all you candy -sses thinkin ya’ll real p-ss-es
ya’ll ain’t seen sh-t yet
eh yo man let em know
oh yeah, guess who’s back
it’s the mother f-ckin p-ssy with the little n-ts-ck
don’t care about cheddar or the paper chase
i’m a f-ckin grown man with zits on my face
a straight up chicken sh-t
a pansy -ss punk
if i’m if i’m guarding your -ss it’s an automatic slam dunk
while thugs are at the party bustin all ya’lls -sses
i’m hidin in the corner wonderin where the f-ck’s my gl-sses
can’t afford no rims my
my f-ckin d-ck’s so small no b-tch can suck it
i don’t pop 9’s i got weak rhymes
back in 9 duce i got p-ssed on 10 times
i roll solo i ain’t got no clue
i said please don’t hit me more than a cow says moo
afraid of heights i’m a-scared in the dark
i walk an extra 3 miles to avoid crazy f-cks in the park
denied by the bloods, turned down by the crypts
my f-ckin auntie kicked my -ss and she got 2 plastic hips
when i step to the club feel free to stare me down
because i just got re-elected the mayor of p-ssytown
may-or-of-pus-sy-town
when bangers h-t the street i stay home and watch tv
slumped out on the couch so no one can see
unless i hear somebody knockin on my door
then you’ll see me crawlin cross the mother f-ckin floor
i’ve been a f-ckin coward every day of my life,
that’s why i pretend i don’t know everyone’s banging my wife
i won’t sit on the porch, i don’t want no trouble
i’m more afraid of goin out than the f-ckin boy in a bubble
when the sh-t goes down i make a break so fast
look like a mother f-ckin rocket goin past
searchin for the sneakiest place to hide
straight into the ladies room, ain’t got no pride
slippin slidin, runnin hidin
you know d-mn well it’s a scooter i’m ridin
oh no here we go, out come the glocks
i take off so fast i pop out my socks
you gonna f-ck with me, i’ll cry then run
i called the cops when i got shot with a f-ckin squirt gun
he clams up he shuts down
his pants he almost sh-ts
he’ll even look the other way if you grab his grandma’s t-ts
well i had a little poodle but neighbor’s stoled her
i’d shoot her with an ak but the kick hurts my shoulder
i can’t pop no gun and i can’t fist fight
h-ll i’m afraid to take out the f-ckin garbage at night
i use the steps in the pool cause i’m terrified to dive
don’t f-ck with my floaties they’s whats keepin me alive, b-tch
never drank remy never delt crack
one time i smoked weed i had a panic attack
if you’re looking for my d-ck in the mens locker room
just bring your binoculars with a f-ckin super zoom
naw i’m just playin i don’t f-ckin change in there
the one time i did got my bush sprayed off with nair
but did i stick up for myself no f-ckin doubt
i did what i do best, i broke the f-ck out
i ain’t lookin at you i ain’t tryin to front
it’s aight with me you called my jimmy a c-nt
freakin sneakin crawlin creepin
when the gangs are bangin i’m in the bas-m-nt sleepin
i’m straight from the streets seen trouble in every side
when the sh-t hits the fan i throw on a f-ckin disguise
fake nose fake wig fake beard
it all worked pretty good
sometimes i just use a map and a funny accent
and pretend i got lost in the hood mother f-cker
now all you coward mother f-ckers out there
walkin round with your head hangin low
just cause you ate one d-ck
just know
my man the mayor, had to suck off his whole high school
case closed
may-or-of-pus-sy-town

- adam sandler lyrics

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