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adam sandler – the mule session lyrics


my girlfriend left me for a seven foot indian
my grandma hung herself on a tree in the caribbean
my sister’s on the dope and my brother always picks his nose
and daddy’s only happy when he’s wearing mama’s pantyhose, yeah
i just lost my job to a god d-mn robot (good times!)
then my dog got in the freeze box, he ate everything i got

but i’ve got my mule
he’s a very, very nice mule
he walks with me home from school
cause he’s a very, very nice mule

when he was a baby my mother fed him gruel
but now he prefers to dine on his own stool
he always philosophizes with the rabbis after shul
cause he’s a very, very pious mule

when he sees a picture of a carrot he has a tendency to druel
on halloween he tries to scare me by dressing up as a ghoul
he once challenged someone who stole my hat to a duel
cause he’s a very, very old school mule

a needle-nosed plier is his favorite tool
he lifeguards on a volunteer basis and the rec. center pool
when i break down on the side of the road he shows up with unleaded fuel
he’s a devoted fan of ms. paula abdul

and also approves of the recent makeover of former folkie jewel
when i told him halle berry’s husband cheated he just shook his head and said to himself ‘what a fool’
cause he’s a very, very monogamous mule

(snoring) porkchop! wake up, man, the session’s not over!

after several well-publicized arrests for public urination he now drinks exclusively o’doul
and every year he puts on a presentation at the boys club to show kids smoking isn’t cool
his favorite elvis song is ‘don’t be cruel’, no it’s ‘hound dog’
i was just kidding you