affinity drive – isabella lyrics
when i was young i fell off my loft bed
a metal shelf pierced my back
i thought i’d drop dead
back badly bleeding
black blood seeping
mom’s frantic screaming
dad’s hand cleaving
my heart rapidly beating and i hear you weeping
you cry, “i’m sorry for everything, believe me”
i did, isabella
and i recall it clear
i’ve thought of your falling tears all these years
but it’s my time to make amends
i wasn’t the brother who loved to bug her or became a friend
i’m sorry our ideals clashed and sparked fights
on dark nights i think of you and mom and our life
we nеver had a close relationship
but i undеrstand why you feel i chose to chase the wind
now our lives are the opposite
split dreams and accomplishments
yet i love you and miss you so much
isabella, wait!
i miss the sweller phase before the thick cellar grates befell our place
they withheld our fate
now we’ve gone our separate ways
it’s the better days in which with this sis of mine i celebrate
a ring on a dog’s collar + in this we felt her grace
a wish seldom made came true
but in our case very quick the relics break
everything is everything
it’s even spelt the same
to tell it plain it took our uncle’s death to get us in the same room
under our breaths we hoped the other changed tunes
but we stayed true to clashed ideals and pride
the past is sealed inside the cracked wheels of time
sometimes i feel i can’t conceal my mind and fear i’ll embark on a rather rash spiel in kind
but i got so nervous
i barely spoke
i didn’t want to stir this
i got wary and croaked
what a joke
i’m as dumb as can be
i’m linguistic on the beats
yet in life, i bit lips and run up the trees
like the water switched quick to a hundred degrees
so i know this is all a bit rich comin’ from me
i can’t express any of this outside song form
i’m hoping this will pry open the strong door for a lot more communication
yet had i stopped for some rumination maybe i would’ve reached out sooner
can we speak about the future?
one day i’ll leave vancouver and that may decrease the physical gap
either way can we at least attempt an atypical chat?
without deep biblical facts or bleak cynical jabs
i want to get to know you
frankly i have no clue what your life is like
and my wife is right + you’re my only sister
so despite the fights and lonely blisters
it only seems correct that we reconnect
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