ameer vann – emmanuel lyrics
[verse 1]
it’s so hard to say, “i’m sorry,” it’s so hard to self reflect
make the world a better place, i put a bullet in my head
i’m still running outta friends, steady running from the past
ain’t no lil’ piece of heaven, all these demons that i have
i am broken, i am tired, i am lonely and depressed
i am made up of mistakes, i’ll start going down the list
i’m a product of my father, i’m an addict like my sister
i’m so sick, i need a doctor
spent some time in inst-tutions back at home with my mama
had to run away to houston
had a girl, she was a goddess, i f-cked up and had to lose her
i see darkness all around me, put my soul into the music
i am always f-cking doubting my every single movement
i saw violence in my home, i seen sh-t i can’t forget
i got anxieties and tendencies and memories repressed
rip this sh-t up off my chest, put these bullets in a clip
press the muzzle to my face and pull the trigger, now i’m—
it’s so hard to end it all, i wanna try to make it right
it’s so hard to live at all, all these obstacles in life
make it hard for us all, made a f-ck-up of my life
i’ll give anything at all to take back a little time
[verse 2]
i’m a beast, i’m a dawg, i’m a runaway slave
i’m like malcolm, i’m like martin bein’ locked in a cage
tell jesus, “come and save me, i got goals and a pager”
misdemeanors on the papers, el dorados on the daytons
see me float above the pavement
i’m a f-ckin’ mental patient, that’s my f-ckin’ mission statement
i’ve been sittin’, waitin’ patient
i can hear what n-ggas sayin’, send me curses, see me prayin’
i can sell a blunt to satan, all these trenches that i lay in
all this chaos that i stay in, see my fate and know it’s waitin’
this a new beginning, call me jesus, king of n-ggas
my sermon is delivered, rollin’ swishers, writin’ scriptures
many pains and many issues, this my written crucifixion
i’ma sing a song of david, i remember wayne and baby
i done seen them n-ggas leakin’
screamin’, “jesus, come and save me”
i don’t know if i’ma make it, i just know that life ain’t easy
gettin’ harder while i’m breathin’, n-ggas die inside of beamers
they don’t even need a reason, guns clappin’, get to squeezin’
n-ggas k!llin’, it ain’t easy, rent due and it ain’t easy
call his name but he ain’t breathin’, momma cryin’, it ain’t easy
hard times, it ain’t easy
it ain’t easy
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