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animatedjames - marvel musical lyrics

[verse 1: iron man]
i was living the life, yes i was having so much fun
i was winning awards i didn’t even know i won
and just in case you can’t tell
all of that went straight to h-ll
when i was was kidnapped by
some afghan guy
who made me build a missile
or i would die

i got a magnet in my chest
thanks to this guy wearing a vest (he dies but)
i am able to give them all the boot
with the fire i can shoot
from this really kick–ss suit
that can also fly (for like 8 seconds)

but after some improvements using robotic tools
i was able to make the suit way more cool
then i got rebellious
obadiah stane got jealous
and he stole my heart in a completely non-g-y way (ooh, ooh)
in a completely non-g-y way (ooh, ooh)
and so i k!lled him

[verse 2: bruce banner and the hulk]
i’ve been living in a third world country
which is kind of ironic since i’m trying not get angry
i’ve been working in a bottle factory
then i got discovered and tracked down by the military
then back in new york, i found my girlfriend
i destroyed a helicopter and then
this guy got jealous of me
deja vu
and then he became a muscly freak too
kinda wish i had k!lled him

[verse 3: iron man 2]
the stark expo’s back and now that everyone knows
that i’m a superhero and hammer tech blows
my life is great, nothing can go wrong, oh wait
some russian guy wants me to die
and so i k!lled him… okay i lied
the russian went on to work for hammer tech
i found a cross-word puzzle on my neck
and so i threw a party
and i really party hardy and then
rhodey came in, kicked my -ss, and stole my suit
and now the russian guy has drones
and i’m pretty much all alone
since pepper abandoned me
rhodey’s a war machine
my chest is k!lling me
so i invent a new element
shaped like a triangle
and then i k!lled that russian guy

[verse 4: thor]
in the land of asgard i’m about to be king
until i disobey my father which kinda screws up everything
stripped of powers, banished to earth, hilarity ensues
i get arrested by s.h.i.e.l.d. and i fall in love with a jew

while i’m gone, loki takes over asgard
without my powers, k!lling this giant cyclops thing is really hard
through the power of odin’s tear, i get my powers back
and now i have no choice but to counter loki’s attack
by k!lling him… kind of… not really…

[verse 5: captain america]
i wanted to be an american soldier
but instead they gave me the cold shoulder
they thought i’d get k!lled easily
just because i have a few health difficulties
so to save myself the embarr-ssment
i partake in a dangerous experiment
that gives me biceps, pecks, and abs
i can also run slightly faster
so i go murder some n-z- b-st-rds
led by a guy whose named red skull for some reason
and so i k!lled him (right before crashing into the arctic and freezing over for several decades)

i wake up in the future where i have to adjust
to seeing black people sitting in the front of the bus
and so just when i think that this is all a bad dream
this black guy tells me about joining a team

[verse 6: the avengers]
now, we all are obligated to join forces
even though we hate each other for some bizarre reason
and, well, we can’t k!ll each other since we’re all equally matched
so we might as well stop this plan that loki has hatched

[tony]
wait, loki’s alive?
[thor]
indeed
[tony]
what the h-ll!?
[thor]
bruce didn’t k!ll the abomination!
[tony]
yeah bruce, what the h-ll was that about?
[bruce]
well my girlfriend, told me… not to
[tony]
…p-ssy

[the avengers]
a portal opens, loki’s army attacks
insert fight scene, we have each other’s backs
rather suspenseful since tony almost dies
loki is stopped thanks to thor, captain america, hulk, iron man… and these guys

[outro]
and
so
we
k!lled
him!

[thor]
well, we didn’t k!ll him we just sort of beat the sh-t out of him

[the avengers]
so
we
beat the sh-t out of
him!

- animatedjames lyrics

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