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awakebutstillinbed – opener lyrics

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tonight will be the night
i’m going to make this right
i ran out the door so fast
they thought i wouldn’t come back;
back to the same three days
over and over again
fraction of zero sum
ad infinitum:
all the regret i keep
all the mistakes i dread
exhausted from oversleep
awake but still in bed
ashamed of the things i’ve said
afraid of what’s in my head
so under this bridge i’ll stay
and wait for the same three days to end

i sob when i speak
they’re looking at me
but i can’t tell what they see
my thoughts slow to a crawl
i embrace the fall
so i won’t answer your calls

it wasn’t always this way:
perpetually in the gray
solace in empty fate
the years evaporate
but within the harsh spotlight
i bury myself inside
’cause every time that i think
i let you go
they will construct this maze
of fear that i navigate
i’ll attempt to p-rs- my place
you’ll define everything
i’ll finally shut my mouth
feel both my feet touch ground
put an end to this run
just say the word and i’ll jump

“to everyone: yeah, you were right
i’ll never get better and i’m sorry
next time, i won’t sob when i speak
i’ll be at peace because it’s not ‘want,’ it’s ‘need’

ooh ooh ooh oooohh
ooh ooh ooh oooohh
ooh ooh ooh oooohh
ooh ooh ooh i

and i
and i
and i
need to be someone else”



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