aye bay - i fear god lyrics
it’s one in the afternoon
i walk into my front door
and what do i see?
you on the f+cking floor
i ran up to you, “dad what’s wrong?”
“dad talk to me. what’s goin on?”
fifteen minutes went on
and you still didn’t respond
911 on the way
i’m calling everybody and i don’t know what to say
thinking that you… no, no way
you promised me that you would stop and you would just stay away
paramedics putting you in a gurney
police lookin round with a face that’s concerning
my heart is f+cking beating not knowing if i should worry
since the paramedics didn’t look like they were in a hurry
my hearts pounding
my hands are shaking
i couldn’t tell if you were gone or you were just faking
mom’s missing
maybe she was shaken
or maybe she just had enough or she just couldn’t even take it
either way, i was standing all alone
n0body to hug and not a single f+cking hand to hold
but when i found you, you were holding what mattered to you
a box of chicken wings and a f+cking 20 pack a blue
screw you for putting me here
yesterday was filled with happiness and holiday cheer
talking about my life and where i’ll be in a year
but after what happened here, i fear life
i fear god, and what he’s gonna go do to you
will he forgive your sins and let you resp+wn too
or is he gonna pull you out, say that you’re overdue
and let you from now on grill on the devil’s f+cking barbecue
it’s like i really wanna love you dude
but at the same time you’re actin just so f+cking rude
why you always gotta be in a f+cking bad mood
why can’t you just stand up and fix your f+cking attitude
it isn’t like we haven’t had this talk
you remember we we’re walking down the street on the sidewalk
you said you’d go and clean up all the sh+t in your dock
yet i come home hours later and you ain’t cleaned up a spot
dear god, why my dad got all these thoughts in his head
all these thoughts that get him thinking he’ll be better off dead
now i’m in a hospital and he’s in a f+cking bed
and my mom ain’t here supporting him but i am in++ckin+stead
why am i the one that always has to “f+cking grow up,”
you’re the f+cking adult, yet you never f+cking show up
to the games, parties, to the f+cking communions
not even a single f+cking family reunion
look where we are, are you f+cking happy now
do you feel satisfied, now that you’re going way f+cking down
are you f+cking happy now
now that you’re going way, way f+cking down
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