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billy k. cee – judas lyrics

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i been trippin’ lately
i remember vaguely
so many reasons that prove that fact these n-gg-s are shady

is there a judas around me? (maybe)
are they still afraid to crown me? (maybe)

let’s keep it a buck:
who’s resilient enough to fight through their home situations even if it sucks?

like how i used to get my ice cream from the truck, cept ’round here, they all photographers: peak out the window, aim and shoot

time p-ssed, now we really grown
mom says i’m a maricòn
tired like i’m running in a marathon
sip ’til dawn
light another cig and then we sing along and pray when caleb leave, that god’s hands could safely bring him home

his leaving hurts, but i know it’s for the better
we all sticking together whatever the weather
but i’m feeling strange

i swear to you i’m not deranged
but all these mothaf-ckas really got the nerve to tell me, “boy, you changed!”

[transition instrumental]

(singing)

round and round with chemicals that never last the night
the only freedoms we have is when desperation cries. (cries, cries)

cries for more than clarity
nothing left so let me be
drowning in a sea of insecurities that’s f-cking me over

(more singing)

ooo… judas, save me now
your charcoal fingertips

this is me
this ain’t who i wanna be
i spent the last four years drowning
no breath for apologies

i ain’t good
i wanna change
i really should

my brothers going hollywood
that’s who they compare me to

i’m feeling blue and drinking dark
i’m begging god to make it stop
but he don’t ever answer me

instead, my girl don’t think i have a heart

maybe she’s right
maybe i’m wrong to think my stupid, little, selfish -ss that can’t kick a bottle can keep happily-ever-after from falling apart

why do i call this sh-t art?
this is a f-cking shame
i need help but don’t know where to start

this morphine is morphing me like
mighty morphin’ and morphisis
i’m off with it like morpheus

uncomfortably warm
dodging like george foreman
a formidable foe
solely focused on learning what makes me sick
understanding what makes me tick

talking to me
barking at me
charging at me
sparking at me

kids were clowned cause they were darker than me

kids were trained to hate themselves at a young age and that’s f-cked up, do you know what i mean?

by the age fourteen
they were deemed unseen
and we all should feel like sh-t

you can’t tell me that you’ve never tried
never, ever cried
never, ever wished that you wanna die

part of me, wants to scream “godd-mn” to the sky
and wonder why it’s dark

god d-mned me to this sh-t
if i could choose, it’s death i pick

emptied out my bad of tricks by talking to a f-cking brick wall

by talking to a f-cking brick wall…

(singing)

judas, save me now…
your charcoal fingertips

judas
save me…

- billy k cee lyrics

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