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billyjoe – a lot parody (country version) lyrics

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how much cattle you got (h-ll yeah)
how much cattle you got (h-ll yeah)
how much cattle you got (h-ll yeah)
how much cattle you got (a lot)

how much cattle you got (a lot)
how many tractors you got (a lot)
how many farmers done shot at you(a lot)
tried to take the land that you got? (a lot)
how many think that your sister is hot? (a lot)
how many times you heard a gunshot? (a lot)
how many mug shots you got? (a lot)
how many buckshots you got? (a lot)
how many fords did you ride? (a lot)
how many piggies done died? (a lot)
how many times you eat meat? (a lot)
how many times your cousin come by? (a lot)
how many times you eat on the street? (a lot)
how many times you hit the bullseye? (a lot)
how many chances she done gave you f-ckin around with these crops? (a lot)

every day that i’m alive i’ma drive with the stick
i’d rather be a vegan than use a chopstick
told my cousins take my gun and suck on my d-ck
but i’m billy joe 4l, ain’t no way i’ma switch

[interlude]
break it down, i break it down
i break it down, i break it down
i break it down, i break it down
i break it down, i break it down

selling moonshine on the side just to make a couple bucks
my whiskey so cold i could put it in my cup
farmers vs. the world, me and my brothers, it was us
then you went and voted for hillary, and that really f-cked me up
my neighbor stole my tractor and it turned me to a beast
my cows ran away and it turned me to the streets
i been through the city and it turned me to a g
but the farmer’s market was sunny, i get paid to sell beets

how much cattle you got (a lot)
how many tractors you got (a lot)
how many farmers done shot at you (a lot)
tried to take the land that you got? (a lot)
how many think that your sister is hot? (a lot)
how many times you heard a gunshot? (a lot)
how many mug shots you got? (a lot)
how many buckshots you got? (a lot)
how many fords did you ride? (a lot)
how many piggies done died? (a lot)
how many times you eat meat? (a lot)
how many times your cousin come by? (a lot)
how many times you eat on the street? (a lot)
how many times you hit the bullseye? (a lot)
how many chances she done gave you f-ckin around with these crops? (a lot)

break it on down, break it on down
i break it on down, i break it on down
yeah, i just came from omaha
i drove back home, 6-hour drive, 6-and-a-half
before i left i stopped by to see my brother blake shelton at the show
he had two farmers with him right at the show, that’s when i knew
you a stand up brother, i love seein’ sh-t like that

question
how many wearin’ overall jeans? (a lot)
gettin they kids in the marines? (a lot)
i can see behind the barn and tractors
brothers ain’t really white as they seem (hmm)
i never say anything (nah), everybody got they thing (true)
some brothers make potaters, other brothers make greens
i’m on a croppin’ routine
i don’t want rice, i want beans
i don’t want no more non-americans
this is the land of the free and i’m aware
i been winnin’ a bet to live near the ocean
i never was one for the swagging and coasting
i guess i was hoping the farm would speak for itself, but the people eat everything else
okay, no problem, i’ll show up at everyone’s barbecue
you know how much food there will be
i’m making a thousand
it’s got to the point that these farmers don’t even like farmin’ with me
f-ck it ‘cause my brother cletus just hit me
and told me he saved me a spot on a new truck that he got
he call it “a top,” i take off my hat and i jot
pray for mr. trump, they want him to rot
i picture him inside a court not a yacht
‘flectin on all the liberals he fought
wondering if it was worth it or not
i pray for dale jr. cause a wall k!lled his pops
just want you to know that i miss him a lot
though i never met him, i know he’s a legend
and that the lord blessed him, don’t doubt it, my brother
hank williams jr, stay solid, my brother
i’m cookin’ gators, now i think that i’ve made it
i had some money and neighbors that were counterfeits
when they thought i wasn’t gone make it, i made a ribeye steak
they say that the best hospitality is southern, tell all your brothers
billy joe got a purpose, becomin’ the farmer with the biggest surplus
before it all ends brother

how much cattle you got (a lot)
how many tractors you got (a lot)
how many farmers done shot at you (a lot)
tried to take the land that you got? (a lot)
how many think that your sister is hot? (a lot)
how many times you heard a gunshot? (a lot)
how many mug shots you got? (a lot)
how many buckshots you got? (a lot)
how many fords did you ride? (a lot)
how many piggies done died? (a lot)
how many times you eat meat? (a lot)
how many times your cousin come by? (a lot)
how many times you eat on the street? (a lot)
how many times you hit the bullseye? (a lot)
how many chances she done gave you f-ckin around with these crops? (a lot)