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blood girl - in the meantime lyrics

i haven’t felt like myself for so long
i don’t know who i’ve become
in the meantime
as the world passes by
i’ve been bedridden almost for a month
caught up cabin fever gone
in the meantime
everybody moving on

i cannot focus and now i am on my own
i am utterly alone i am left to die again
all my friends all my friends
are so dear but far away i am cooped up in my bed
disappearing without trace

the worlds are caving in around my skull
making me forget that i can talk
making me forget how to reach out
making me forget that i am loved

but i can’t sleep in any longer
i can’t stay like this for life i’m not sick enough
but sick enough to never be alright
i am wrongly wired really tired
fighting for my right
to have a little hope that i will someday turn out fine
i haven’t felt happy for so long
i don’t know where it has gone
in the meantime
i’ve been sleeping quite a lot
i’ve pretended everything was going fine
so i didn’t have to lie
if somebody asked me if it’s gotten worse

i am sloppy with excuses always covering my ass
i am scared of getting help
cus what if that sh+t doesn’t last
i’m on meds but still depressed
and therapy doesn’t help
so i’m just tired of the fighting
can i ever catch a break?

i am happy for you happy for you but i’m so afraid
i am trying i am trying but i want this sh+t to end
i am lonely i am lonely yet avoiding all my friends
i am scared yes i am scared that i will one day k!ll myself

- blood girl lyrics

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