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blue foster – mr. smith, 3rd period, forever! lyrics

i can’t stop thinking about how i’m not made for this
yes, a general this
like the general abyss of eating normal
and keeping friendships
and doing schoolwork
or getting a job

but the problem is i can’t stop thinking
about how i haven’t showered in over 24 hours
and the last time that i spoke to my mom i was a d+ck
and the last time that i spoke to my dad was like last week
i’ve gotta catch up
but f+ck that

i perpetually felt the need to [?] to a standard
that is not in my vocab
and i have tried to get new habits
but i break them just as easy
oh, f+cking up’s too easy

i’m regretting telling my mom that i wanna k!ll myself
i feel a shame inside like something died inside her
when she felt that her son jake hasn’t been quite the same
since he ate the f+cking weed
that made his life feel like a dream
and all his dreams feel like a breeze
well, mom, i’m sorry and i promise
i won’t really hurt myself
it gets frustration out
admittedly, it’s real bad for my health
and i love you, mom
i think i really love myself
since i re+found my will to live with the help of mr. smith

i know he’s got a room that he can show me ’round
forming and upkeeping for the rest of his eternity
but mr. smith i’ve gotta go because i love my mom
and, mom, i’m sorry that i ever thought of causing myself harm

i can’t stop thinking about the amount of pain i’m in
i can’t communicate it in a proper way
like “hey, i’m hurting, i think i need help”
i’m so d+mn stubborn, i’m so naive

but the problem is i can’t stop thinking of how
i push away the only people that i like
and i’m not sure i even like them
i’m too f+cking misanthropic
just as soon as [?]
too f+cking judgemental
gotta calm down, but f+ck that
i perpetually felt this sense of anger towards the world
that i just wanna do away with
but i don’t know where to start
[?]
oh, f+cking up’s too easy
we’re all the stupid b+tches trying just to get along
when i was 12 i took the place of where i f+cking put my mom
i talk to strangers on the web
about how they just wanna die
i told them that i am just so sorry that their life is on the line

i love the kid that did that sh+t
i love his crazy stupid hair
i love the way he sees the world as if it’s all so f+cking cool
and i love how he has kept all of those big thoughts inside his head
of how to stay alive, and [?] the rules the big old stupid world
and i love him

- blue foster lyrics

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