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bo burnham – ironic lyrics



(i believe in the zodiac
yeah, i do, i’m a leo, i love t-tanic
uh, this is something a little bit mor-
something a little bit morbidly ironic, my grandmother
uh, she was a cancer and
she was actually killed by a giant crab

this is a song about the idea of irony
so strap in!)

my dog’s stomach was very upset
so i put him in the car and we went to the vet
and on our way to the vet
i killed a cat
hey, i said isn’t that ironic?

i adopted a child from overseas
to rescue him from child labor factories
and on his very first birthday, we went to build-a-bear workshop
isn’t that ironic?

isn’t that i-r-o-n-i-c-i-n-o-r-i-r-o-n-i-c?
a water park has burned to the ground, and a
a tow truck has broken down
i always used to cry when i laughed
and then i was raped by a clown
isn’t that ironic?

i was watching al gore on cnn
he was talking and talking and talking and then
out of boredom, my pet polar bear shot himself
isn’t that ironic?

i dated an animal rights activist
and one day, she got really p-ssed
because i was eating veal that was wrapped in “pita” bread
(“peta”? f-ck it)

isn’t that i-r-o-n-i-c-i-n-o-r-i-r-o-n-i-c?
i’m a stand up comic and i always sit and slouch
and i got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncle’s “pull-out” couch
isn’t that ironic? i-r-o-n-i-c
yeah, if everyday you play the board game risk
you’ve probably never taken a risk in your life
and monopoly has far from a stranglehold on the board game market
a little kid died from suffocation when he choked on a game piece from operation
and i can’t grow a beard
that one’s not ironic, that one’s just sad

bob barker got all of my pets pregnant

my grandfather had alzheimer’s
and one day we were