bo burnham – out of the abyss lyrics
[intro: bo burnham]
(talking to audience member)
bo: how old are you buddy?
child: 14
bo: 14? is this your mother beside you?
child: (mumbling)
bo: this is getting awkward isn’t it?
well your mother’s very cool… your mother’s very cool for bringing you
remember that, remember when you get old and grey
and- and she was cool she brought you to a comedy show
i have trouble getting along with my father, he’s such a man’s man you know, he lives his life by all these rules that i can’t possibly live by, like he believes you should always fight fire with fire which is a horrible way to live your life
well cause he’s a firefighter and he was fired
whoops! that was stupid, let’s get a little stupider
“there’s a creepy old man fishing in the park, and the only problem is he tied a candy bar to the end of his line, he’s trying to catch a kid.(ping!)”(laughter)
for those listening on the cd, i mimed like i was catching the 14 year old i was just talking to
mom isn’t happy, just guessing, not even looking
you know, people complain about the way i act on stage, they think i repeat jokes. they think- they don’t get that the way i act on stage is just that, it’s an act, they think on stage i act too arrogant, too self-obsessed, solipsistic, self-contained, synonyms. they want me to be more a comic to the people, relate to the beautiful people in this room in the overarching glue of comedy, so let’s do a little but of uh relatable comedy
i’m like you guys, once a week i like to slip into a deep existential depression and lose all my sense of oneness and self worth haha
and what i like to do in order to -ssure myself that i am unique, and i’m not just one of many small, white indistinguishable perfectly cylindric checker pieces in jesus and satan’s backgammon game
[verse 1]
i won’t- guys i’ll try to say a group of words in a certain order that i think no one has ever said them before, so when i’m saying them it’s kind of like “look at me i’m partic-p-ting in this new moment that no one has ever partic-p-ted in before” so i feel like i’m preceding out of the abyss so i’ll say something random that no one’s ever said, like “peanut b-tter tribadism”, or i’m your father and i loved your comedy show, or “at first i didn’t feel comfortable leaving him alone with my child, but then i saw his mustache, phew.” or, “hey did you see this amish website?”
or “hey yo baby my life’s about three things, three simple things, getting money, getting p-ssy, and they dewey decimal system!”
or “hey can you hold my f-nny pack? i’m gonna go f-ck a woman”
you just don’t hear it!
(cheers from the audience)
i’m giving you attention, girl who’s wooing, are you happy now?
(girl: i love you!)
you love me, that’s nice. you love the idea of me, you don’t know me but that’s okay
it’s called a para social relationship
it goes one way and it’s ultimately destructive. but please, keep buying all my sh-t forever
(laughter)
that’s how it works. capitalism, i’m trapped, alright
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