buff – twenty lyrics
[intro]
lim0, lim0
[verse]
at nineteen, i went and set some goals for myself
and now i’m twenty and i barely keep control of myself
know this as well, i’m only ever showin’ to tell
notice the wealth, i focused myself
for the first time in my life i took a walk and picked a lotus as well
the coldest i’ve felt
alone inside a room where all the paints peeling
i cannot describe to you all of my strange feelings
thoughts go dancing in my head about a stained ceiling
and the walls too while i’m at it
silver bullet in the chamber like the false tooth of an addict
say i’m depressed and f+ckin’ anxious that is all true, but it happens
have you heard? my name is christian, i just saw coop in a casket
seventeen days, i look inside my mirror where my enemy lays
tryna live up in the past, so could you send the replays?
lotta bullsh+t been thrown at me, i don’t tend to be phased
’cause my end is retraced
’cause i’m plottin’ on my downfall
ain’t stoppin’ till the ground’s all
round me and i’m stuck up in a box, and then i drown off
said my days were numbered, but i dropped it, now my counts off
missin’ days when weed would help, but now i’m only couch locked
i guess i got another year in me
twenty+one i’m buying alcy ’til i barely see fifty
and that is generous, reality been setting in
getting rid of all my clothes to pay the rent, ain’t selling sh+t
i guess i’ve been repetitive
talkin’ ’bout my goals that i will never meet
so negative, for what?
i’m angry at the universe
spat up in my face and took my mom like “this what you deserve”
tell me lies, the truth will hurt
heads been up in jupiter
i remember suicidal thoughts while making food to serve
sh+t that sounds familiar
we’re just moving through the earths rotations and spins
none of us have asked to be in the situation we’re in
and i’ve been trying to get out for a while, i’m just a p+ssy
when will i learn that i’ll never be happy at any f+cking occupation there is
you gotta k!ll yourself to make a f+cking bag
make ends meet, and envy the ones who can relax
’cause they’re fortunate to be born in a fort with more dollars than they’ll ever need
i just spent like half my check so i can have some stuff to eat
the government speaks tongue and cheek
“unbelievably” i’m tryna die in like a couple weeks
oh lord gimme something please
plotting out my death since seventeen, but it ain’t up to me
“but there’s still so much to see” f+ck you mean?
everybody knows this life is never what its up to be
you’re stuck with these cards that they dealt and it f+cking reeks
one, two, three, countin’ everyday i feel too stunned to breathe
blocking you is not enough, i’ll rip my eyes, you suck to see
tough to leave, you owe me for trauma, plus the weed
cutting deep, but it’s still way too shallow to succumb to peace
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