bujuben – mental health lyrics
{spoken verse} (2x) :
h+llo and welcome to the mental health hotline
if you’re obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly
if you’re co+dependent, ask someone to press 2 for you
if you have multiple personalities, press 3 4 5 and 6
if you’re paranoid, we know what you are and what you want
stay on the line and we’ll trace your call
if you’re delusional, press 7
and your call with be transferred to the mother+ship
if you’re schizophrenic, listen carefully
the small voice will tell you what number to press
if you’re depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press
no one will answer you
if you’re dyslexic, press 69696969
if you have a nervous disorder
please fidget with the hash key until the beep
after the beep, please wait for the beep
if you have short term memory loss
please try your call again later
and if you have low self+esteem
hang up, all our operators are too busy to talk to you
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