burials – i’ve been trying to leave lyrics
“sorry,” you said
the word it dribbles ‘twixt pearl tombstones
and bright blood red
and in the back of my head
that creeping feeling
so familiar
wide awake, somehow half dead
because you took
and when you took, you took the best
and when you left
you left the wounds filled in with salt
i will remember this
like i remember every lie
and all this wasted f-cking time
well, i’ve been warring with the voices in my head
and they’ve been winning, and they’re right
i should have put this to rest
up to the precipe again
i feel my toes over the edge
and a sharpness somewhere in the vertebrae
like spectral bayonets
(“keep your eyes straight ahead”)
i almost recognise the voice
but dare not turn to face it
(“you know where the solid ground lead”)
i do, and trading love for limerence is the last thing i’d intend
but i can’t tell if this blackness below and beyond
is all of you or all of me
i’ll need to fall to find out
(it’s just me and the air and the gravity)
it’s just me and the air and the gravity
(it’s just me and the shame and the self-defeat)
it’s just me and the shame and the self-defeat
so long it seems spent at the end
well, i’ve been trying to leave, but these uncertainties grip
they have whispered such things in my head
that force this heel turn to regret
“sorry,” i said
by god, it hurt to force it out through the throat
while my pride holds it closed
i am imperfect at best
but i’d shake hands with the abyss
before the guilt’s iron grip holds me back
at peace ’til the ground hits or the rope snaps taut
come what may
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