carnegie hall concert cast of anyone can whistle (1995) – hapgood’s arrival lyrics
[narrator, lyrics]
comptroller schub is trying to sort out the confusion of cookies and pilgrims at the miracle rock when there is a great clap of thunder, several flashes of lightning, and yes, a trumpet call. our hero has arrived, j. bowden hapgood!
[hapgood, spoken]
excuse me, but could you direct me to the cookie jar?
[schub, spoken]
what for? there’s n0body there, they’re all here. now, doctor, here’s our problem in a nutsh+ll
[cora, spoken]
oh, schub, haha ha ha haha
[schub, spoken]
we must know immediately which of the people on that line are bonafide pilgrims, entitled to take our miracle waters, and which are—
[hapgood, spoken]
cookies?
[schub, spoken]
yes!
[hapgood, spoken]
shall we dance?
[schub, spoken]
what the h+ll is this?
[hapgood, spoken]
i have to think, and i think best on my feet. and i must think of a quick way to discover who’s who, and what is what, and make everybody—
[schub, spoken]
yes?
[hapgood, spoken]
—happy! mayor?
[cora, spoken]
you may. but, how are you going to separate them?
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