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chivalery – alone in the dark lyrics

[verse]
yeah
lately everything’s been all black
clothes, hair, mind, even this rap
the world is so dark
and it’s hard, i’ve been feeling alone
and i’ve been feeling that more and more
no one is hitting my phone
so ask me again why i’m scared of the dark
i’m depressed and it’s hard to know it
but it feels like my fam doesn’t even know it
i wrote album about my depression they still didn’t notice
i hate to bring th up again
but can you f+cking imagine?
then to lose your dad to something that you’re thinking about making happen
once again, can you f+cking imagine?
3 am sad hours got me up again, me and these people on instagram matching
i’m drowning and the waves are crashing
i’m reaching out to friends for some compassion
but i just get left on read again and again and again
and i keep getting sadder and sadder and sadder
so i start to climb the ladder, the ladder, the ladder
i can’t get over this feeling of abandon
this is something nine year old taylor could never fathom
and it’s f+cking tragic!
[bridge]
it’s a childish fear to be scared of the dark
but when i’m in the dark i feel all alone
no matter how much that i’ve grown
that fear never gets old
this is something no one knows
i’m trying to be bold
but my heart and mind is so cold
my heart and mind are just so cold

[verse]
nikki has been giving me a buzz
when i’m in need of a hug or just some love
god, i’m f+cked
i didn’t choose to be a nicotine addict but it’s something i can’t get rid of
reading through the posts
still seems no one gets it
my raps are depressing
they’re just all saddening
all these people complainin’ bout my rapping
i wonder if they’ll care if i just walk straight into traffic
f+ck, it’s graphic
but these raps are biographic
i’ve been feeling suicidal again and it’s starting to feel like a habit
try to hide it with fake smiles and fake laughing
but it’s feeling like i’m satanic
how many times i pass up romans road, i don’t know
and i’m feeling so f+cking alone
i was on the edge of tears all shift
i can’t take this sh+t
and i just a started crying as soon as i got home
f+ck
[hook]
it’s a childish fear to be scared of the dark
but when i’m in the dark i feel all alone
no matter how much that i’ve grown
that fear never gets old
this is something no one knows
i’m trying to be bold
but my heart and mind is so cold
my heart and mind are just so cold

[verse]
maybe this is the part of my life where i’m just on my own
but then why do i have so many names on my phone?
“i’m here if you ever want to talk”
sorry, i didn’t get that text, i was too busy hiding away in the catacombs
the dark is where i feel alone
and the world lately has been ghost
sun doesn’t come up, street lights don’t glow
stars are no longer shown
it’s dark outside, sky’s are black, i’m in my own zone
my heart and mind have frozen to stone
both shattered into millions of pieces, they’ll never be re+sewn
more nikki gets blown
maybe you can tell by my tone
i’ve been losing the will to live again
and i feel like this time no one will say “don’t”
and i feel like this time i won’t say “no”

- chivalery lyrics

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