colt45 – my name is (pony version) lyrics
good morning ladies
i mean students…
can i have the attention of the cl-ss for one second
alright kids, your normal teacher ms. cheerilee is away
so instead i’ll be the one that’ll be poisoning your minds today
and before you go on saying that i totally stole this premise
shut up, i’m not that stupid, i’m just completely senseless
i just thought it was a funny concept like sticking a d-ck in a feminist
like everypony’s favorite royal demigoddesses and incest
(what are you, a dictionary?) no b-tch, a ghetto visionary
keep it up and i’ll drop your sh-t like a case of dysentery
so, today’s lesson is hip-hop 101, let’s begin
it’s all s-x, money, murder, actual content is thin
step one, get more ponytail than a certain rainbow-haired lesbian
then make an art out of the drama like a regular thesbian
i mean, yelling at cats? could rapping really be that easy?
opal, get the f-ck over here and eat your godd-mn friskies
hey, i think it’s working, i can feel the fire within me
oh wait, that’s just my whiskey…
and speaking of whiskey, i think this bottle’s almost gone
let me grab another one, here kid, hold my gun
for the record, i’m not an alcoholic all the time
it’s just that i tend to prefer friendship of the liquid kind
i mean half you little freaks look like you might pull a columbine
oh geez, you’re a little young for that, nevermind
uh, just give me my gun back, seriously, it’s mine
i’ve never hit a filly before, but d-mn it you’re sure trying
god, when they said this cl-ss was special they weren’t lying
aw, sh-t, no! don’t start crying!
listen kids, school won’t teach you jack sh-t
that science and math horsesh-t, h-ll, it’s all magic
don’t just chew gr-ss, smoke that sh-t and cut cl-ss
c’mon, live a little and squeeze some -ss
i mean do you really want a tramp stamp that makes your special talent “flowers?”
that’s how alicorns keep you down, man, blank power!
tell you what, how ’bout i teach y’all some street smarts
pay close attention, no joke, cause hustling is an art
first thing’s first, give your step just a little bit of swag
spread your legs, drop your pants and let them britches sag
oh yeah, no pants, uh, no worries, wear mine
yeah, then just throw up your fingers in a gang sign
oh for f-ck’s sake, just get yourself a nine
why? so you can commit crime, that’s why
what, you thought it was all friendship and fairy magic?
that’s tragic, do yourself a favor and bag it
out here the street’s real, you learn quick how to steal
a pony’s gotta do what she needs to eat a meal
i used to have the princess sweating and starving me
but now i rock the elements of bone thugs-n-harmony
peace to rainbo hash, #rareity and pinky-p
fluttershady, lojack and notorious d.-er-p
putting the harm in harmony ever since i had a tape drive
spitting sick l!cks sticking it in ’em like steak knives
dropping the illest lyrics you’ve ever heard anypony write
but that should be expected for a pony as best as twilight
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