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concrete cee – open vents lyrics

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[verse]
i’ve suffered more than i learned
coughed up a lot more than i earned
did not pay attention to what warrants concern
head first through the wall when some problems converged

i try to change, but still get judged for past deeds
wondering if they want replies to what they ask me
it’s funny how people who you think should know you
show you they don’t when they try to console you

i never trust a first impression
every makeup wears off, every fragrance is lost
every kind word is not always imbued with honesty
that is why i don’t mind bluntness if you talk to me

i see, people put form over function
i see them avoid facts, but not -ssumptions
warm welcomings turn to cold goodbyes
but what you see me wiping there is just the cold in my eyes

i’m expected to have time if you call to go out
but when i’m trying to see you, you can’t make it at all
weird patterns, you tell me the meaning
practicing cold readings won’t prevent long evenings from being

so lonesome, all my life i’ve been marching
to my own drum, various times where i had no drum
couldn’t hear what the world tried to tell me
were they words of encouragement or meant to derail me?

i’ll never know, unlike the fact that i’m discordant
views meet resistance like the jordan rules
like the one of being cool, i was never in accord with
authority i fought it, never blindly followed orders

family wasn’t supportive, judgmental but they ignored
whatever i had to say and till this day the rift’s enormous
i have not a single thing, to tell my father
or my mother ’bout the dreams that i harbour

mature women tell me i’m handsome but that is meaningless
when women get to know me they most likely keep a distance
tell me all about the beautiful women that they would love to see me with
talking ’bout i deserve better, what they mean is “earn cheddar”

the only people i relate to, they are miles from me
and they are happiest when they don’t hear a rhyme from me
so often i wonder if this is all designed for me
cause i cannot even figure out who i’m trying to be…