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crm (au) – all in my head lyrics

[intro]
uh, uh, (cobra)
i’m ‘bout to talk ‘bout some personal sh+t
so don’t just hate, just listen, and understand
yeah, ahem!

[verse 1]
yeah, this some sh+t you’d never expect someone that you know to deal with
but it’s so hard to describe it all, ‘cause i can’t tell how i’m feelin’
they say the sky’s the limit, that’s true, ’cause my pain breakin’ the ceiling
and now it’s gotten to the point where i’ve forgotten life’s meanin’
i can’t figure out why you’re surprised, ‘cause you hear this sh+t all the time
and i’ve hid this all for so long, so ya’ll still think that i’m doin’ fine
i can’t tell if this is real, or if i’m outta my mind
‘cause no matter how many times i’ve tried, i can’t leave all this sh+t behind
f+ck no! this gon’ leave more than an impact
no one else tells me they’re goin’ through the same sh+t, it’s makin’ me feel mismatched
i’m afraid of tellin’ this out loud, ‘cause i don’t know how they gon’ react
i’m tellin’ you this ain’t an easy fix, so you can’t tell me ‘just relax’
and i can’t live my normal life, all the easiest sh+t, i somehow make it hard
whether one of your friends gon’ switch up on you, or if a girl’s gon’ break your heart
why do i gotta deal with this pain, i’m not ready to take it on
this way too much for me, compared to this sh+t, i’m small, i ain’t at large
and you probably think that this fake
but i can’t remember a single person who asked me if i was ok
that’s probably ’cause i never told n0body bout the sh+t i deal with everyday
so i hope that you might help me out before it’s too late
you don’t know what it’s like to go through this sh+t, you only know how it sounds
i don’t even feel safe at home, ‘cause there’s arguments every day in the house
and even if i told you everythin’, you’re just gonna kick me down
but you’ll only start caring for me when i’m six feet deep in the ground
[bridge]
dealt with this so many times, i can’t remember the first
why does everythin’ in my life go wrong, i swear this more than a curse
what’s the point of livin’ anymore, tell me what is my life worth
but i know everyone that hated on me will start lovin’ me if i left this earth

[verse 2]
see, now i’m not the same, i can’t go back to the life i used to live
and you blame me for all this sh+t? but you don’t understand, i ain’t no lunatic
i’m goin’ insane, never feelin’ the same, but i guess i’m used to it
but the worst part is i’ll never know when i’m gonna start losin’ it
‘cause they never taught me how to ask someone for help, so i had to learn all on my own
they never taught me how to stop bullies, so i could never be left alone
they never told me people cared about me, so i never knew if they’d pick up the phone
you could’ve changed this outcome, this never could’ve happened
now it’s probably too late, ‘cause i might be gone
you’ve never seen this side of me
i’ve been drowned out by the fake love all the arguments and rivalries
these fights i’ve caused with a side of beef, and this overdose of anxiety
i need to talk about this, but i’m done with talkin’ about it privately
they say they gon’ be there for you, but when you need them, they ain’t show up
they hate on you all the time, but they start d+ck+ridin’ when you blow up
they say they been there for you since day one, but i don’t even know ya
don’t try and tell me everythin’ is fine, ‘cause my mind is beyond corrupt
i’m givin’ up, i surrender, i can’t live my life anymore
maybe one day, you’ll understand why when it rains, it pours
maybe one day, you’ll see what’s it’s like to live in a mental war
this might be my final goodbye, so i hope you see me beside the heaven doors
[chorus]
they don’t know what’s the deal, ‘cause their conclusions jump ahead
there’s no way that i can heal, “you’ll be ok”, that’s what they said
and i don’t know what to feel, other than the fact, i’m better off dead
but i know that this ain’t real, i know it’s all in my head

[outro]
nah f+ck this sh+t, bro, i’m done, bro
i can’t deal with this anymore, bro
should’ve done this a f+ckin’ long time ago

- crm au lyrics

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