dayglo abortions – sperm’s point of view lyrics
[verse 1]
the erection’s got me ready
so, i’m strapping on my cap
gonna find myself a fertile egg
when i’m blown from this sack
it’s gonna be the best +rg+sm
that there’s ever been
the quiver starts, its up the tube
“oh, sh+t a magazine!”
[chorus]
things ain’t much fun from a sperm’s point of view
afraid there’ll be no eggs, just a great big piece of goo
sitting in the sack waiting for the sights unseen
but someone’s got to tell the jerk i can’t make a magazine!
[verse 2]
the whole thing’s started over
but something’s not the same
there seems to be a different pulse
coursing through my veins
i feel the comforting grip of the walls that hold me tight
but its headfirst in a piece of sh+t
this pr+ck just can’t get it right
i wish i had another chance to try it all again
but a sperm’s only got one shot
when ejected from a vein
we never know where we go
we leave it up to you
but we’d rather have a stinky egg
than a rancid piece of poo
[chorus]
things ain’t much fun from a sperm’s point of view
afraid there’ll be no eggs, just a great big piece of goo
sitting in the sack waiting for the sight’s unseen
but someone’s got to tell the jerk i can’t make a magazine!
[verse 3]
he’s got a spermal backup
so, he’s on the prowl again
wadding through the disco bar
to find that special friend
he spots a b+tch across the bar
he’d love to take her home
they dance and drink and catch a cab
to home and on the bone
the jacker finally got it right
i got myself an egg!
it’s only just a one+night stand
but he didn’t have to beg
now she’s pounding at the door
with her baby boy in hand
for alimony and child support
you should’ve used your head!
[chorus]
things ain’t much fun from a sperm’s point of view
afraid there’ll be no eggs, just a great big piece of goo
sitting in the sack waiting for the sight’s unseen
but someone’s got to tell the jerk i can’t make a magazine
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