decuma – left,,, incom_plete + *bouquet!* (feat. eldon) lyrics
[chorus]
i have no identity beyond these chords
i’m only a martyr behind closed doors
so i know it meant nothing, but my blood still poured
[verse 1: eldon]
a sound rooted in erasing and obscuring should be heard most clearly in the echoes left behind by its desertion
a sublime excursion
i think i hear the he+rs+ reversing
reborn, inertia converted into ecstasy and endurance
solace of spirit
audre’s lyric
preferred pastoral pilgrimage to porcelain patronage and pillage
upon further study that endors+m+nt shatters under microscope
but we carry gargantuan hope and cast stone upon the titan trope
took small axe to oblivion oak
i let the gungo peas soak
the ancestors didn’t lead i and i here to drown
upon tears we must float
today i feel buoyant
yes yes today i feel buoyant
[chorus]
[verse 2: decuma]
the future ends with me
as my fist hits the debris of my philosophy
i pondered ‘how could i possibly be?’
my arm was guided by an all too familiar melancholy that functions similar to a stray
look it in the eyes, and it’ll never go away
the paradox of a suicidal existentialist rendered me powerless
drowning in thoughts as the hours tick
as the exception of my own rules, i couldn’t swim, but i was floundering
endlessly pondering
how does every expression of affection just feel like pandering?
i’m screaming “stay away” in my sleep
can’t find no peace
it’s like everybody is coming for me
can’t get no sleep
and when i do, death inhabits my dreams
i don’t want to be saved because i hate myself
if i had a nickel for every time i said i’d change, it still wouldn’t matter since change always ends up missing
gave me pennies for my thoughts, but nothing makes sense
but it’s funny, the worse i get, the less i care about money
my balled fist is the punchline
throw the towel in, i’ve yet to make a hit one time
like rhymes don’t ring true
been fighting doubt for a long time, trying to make my rounds
but can’t survive the may weather, when it rains it pours
the flood
as if noah cheered on the shedding of blood
you’ll find we mean nothing
[chorus]
[+bouquet!+]
[intro
(you are nothing
you are nothing
and in nothing, you became whole) x4
[verse 1]
i made this beat out of my ancestors’ broken bones
a conjunction of mental and physical dysfunction
everything i’ve done amounts to nothing
this feeling has sucked the life out of everything, and then shed my blood
this earth is mine, and i’d love to stay, but my world has been plagued by a beautiful bouquet of grays and beige
can one envision a dream out of this?
if so, what shade is bliss?
no, this is no longer a life to be lived, but a fight to forfeit
but as a kid, i remember this world was gorgeous
i remember finding myself in some sakuras
i remember watching it burn
i remember it took its toll, and now nothing rings a bell
and now i’ll never feel alive because i watched myself die
an unburdened man shrugs at atlas
tells him to be strong and smile more before throwing another stone on his back
laughing as his bones crack
the world i loved most was undone
the day my blood poured, it left me incomplete
[outro]
this bouquet is for you though
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