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desolate (ny) – hikikomori lyrics

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[verse 1]
please find reprieve in the silence between breaths
’cause it’s the only calm we seem to find outside of death
these words like poison
can’t seem to hold my tongue
i choke them down ’til they flood my lungs [1]
it burns like rotgut
cover your ears
or sew my lips shut

[breakdown]
sew them shut
seal my fate, i’m a waste
i always fail to reciprocate
f-ck!
i’m only living by habit [2]
and life just won’t have it

[verse 2]
my greatest fear is you feeling distressed by my presence
would you feel happier the more we put ourselves at distance?
we stray from each other in our greatest times of need
we trace the paths, we’ve already p-ssed
just to see if we still bleed
won’t you please just shed my skin?
let’s not let this end
please just shed my skin

[pre-breakdown]
shed my skin
ひきこもり [3]
a victim of complacency
i’m no longer the safe haven you once found refuge in
so please k!ll the ghost [4] who’s made its home
in your lover’s skin

[breakdown]
i hate myself for the man i’ve become
tie my noose, drain my veins
erase my spirit please
i hate myself, for the man i’ve become
(so numb)
tie my noose, drain my veins
save yourself from me

footnotes
[1] chapter 80, pages 11-18, punpun
[2] chapter 61, page 5, ms. onadera
[3] hikikomori: (in j-pan) the abnormal avoidance of social contact, typically by adolescent males
[4] the spirit of fujikawa takashi
all chapter references are from “goodnight punpun” (or “おやすみプンプン”) by inio asano