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dr. dreizich – xtreme loifer lyrics

[intro]
h-llo
my name is chaim zielig
farshtaytzach you see i’m very heilig
i’m a big baal kishron and a rizigeh masmid
some chevra taineh that i’m even a shas yid
but besides for my neshama, nefesh and ruach
i always make time on my daily luach
not chas v’shalom to battel or shluff
cause you really have to take care of your guff
i’m saying don’t overdo it like the b’nei cham
but nuch alleh meisois you’re a b-ssar v’dam
so unb-tton your jacket and loosen your ties
and come let me show you how to exercise!

[verse 1]
my sneakers are new balance and my socks are puma
i start with two cans of parah adumah
i stretch and i jog and once i even did a curl
i jump rope even though i’m not a girl
i’m working on a six pack, i’m on the [?]
cause d’vieleh what i have is more like a keg
i have boxing matches with morah d’asrahs
i go to the gym and i lift bava basrahs
i beat up a goy who was twice my age
i ripped up a phonebook page by page
i do pushups and pull-ups it’s not a shialeh
watch as i do a yeshiva shel mielah
so what are you waiting? let’s go to the gym, shoin
my name is chaim zielig but my friends call me shimshoin!

[bridge 1]
i’m a m-ssive lamdan and also a gibor
b’kitzur i’m an oikeir harim
but chas v’shalom don’t be choished b’ksheirim
i only work out bein hasdorim!

[verse 2]
i have my own m’halech in the rambam’s diet
etlicheh g’doilim asked me to try it
i eat milk and eggs until i’m sick
because protein shakes are not covered by wic
i have karate lessons that i won from oorah
before i was a ben shmoinim i was zoicheh to g’vurah
i’m way much faster than a tzvi
i’m a much bigger gibor than a ari
to teach people how to exercise i made a va’ad
there’s so much room on my muscle for my t’filin shel yad
i’m the strongest guy in my k’hillah
they always give me hagbah instead of g’lillah
i know i’m the strongest; i’m not being biased
my moisheh emes i throw my kids the highest
last week in yeshiva i gave a chaburah
to anyone who didn’t come to my chaburah!

[bridge 2]
i’m mazzik anyone who’s coming near me
i’m like a reshus harabim-y bor
not even once was i koivesh my yeitzer
but furt i’m still a m-ssive gibor!

[verse 3]
i’m not even scared of a goyisheh barber
i’m stronger than reish lokish when he was a robber
some chevra call me the gadol hador
i smash avoideh zarrehs from ba’al pe’or!
i rip up b’gadim of tzemer u’pishtim
i broke down a building and k!lled all the p’lishtim
i’m stronger than oig in all the midrashim
all by myself i picked up the k’rashim
my favorite mitzvah is k!lling amalek
i picked up agag and i threw him in the lake
i still feel strong even after a ta’anis
i knock off all the leaves when i klap hoishanas
i’m very very muscular i’m not very lean i-
-have muscles way bigger than har sinai
i got a heter to be like the greeks
when i klop al cheit it hurts for two weeks
i yell the loudest by every macho’ah
i was koineh my house with a kinyan hagbo’ah

[outro}
i’m gonna win this race al kol panim
if you don’t believe in me you’re a koifer
i have a haskamah from twenty rabbanim
i’m ready to be an xtreme loifer!
gonna win this race al kol panim
if you don’t believe in me you’re a koifer
i have a haskamah from twenty rabbanim
i’m ready to be an xtreme loifer!

- dr dreizich lyrics

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