dr. elmo – grandma’s killer fruitcake lyrics
the holidays were upon us
and things were going fine
til the day i heard the doorbell
and a chill ran up my spine
i grabbed the wife and children
as the postman wheeled it in
a yearly christmas nightmare
has just come back again
it was harder than the head of uncle bucky
heavy as a sermon of preacher lucky
one’s enough to get the whole state of
kentucky a great big belly ache
it was denser than a trove of barnyard turkeys
tougher than a truckload of all beef jerky
drier than a drought in albuquerque
grandma’s k!ller fruitcake
now, i had to swallow some marginal fare
at our famiy feast
i even downed aunt possum pie
just to keep the family peace
i winced at wilma’s gizzard mousse
but said it tasted fine
but, that lethal weapon grandma baked
is where i drawn the line
it was harder than the head of uncle bucky
heavy as a sermon of preacher lucky
one’s enough to get the whole state of
kentucky a great big belly ache
it was denser than a trove of barnyard turkeys
tougher than a truckload of all beef jerky
drier than a drought in albuquerque
grandma’s k!ller fruitcake
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