epic rap battles of bruh – poop vs. shit. lyrics
p++p:
after a long period of spitting your sh+tty brapples
your first order of sh+tness is to drag me to this cr+pple
so allow me to drop sh+ts ‘gainst your eat+it+all prattle
and after this deuce, try not to cry to your toilet cattle!!!
put down the pog plunger and listen to this
if you knew how to f+cking wipe i wouldn’t get p+ssed
toilet paper running thin, and you’re still trying to grin
but go ahead and use your hand, throw it into the trash bin
sh+t:
yeah, i brap sometimes, now that is some true sh+t
but let’s be real; it ain’t funny with you p++p, b+tch
a complete and utter sh+tstacle, your rapping makes me sh+tstickle
oh, i’m sorry, p++pie, am i being way too sh+tacle?
you’re kind of a sh+t, p++p, you wanna fight pee? jeez
pretty bold claims when you’re lacking on tp
yeah, try and take a sh+t with your weak f+cking rear
if i hadn’t dumped out your ass you wouldn’t have a career
p++p:
it was you that kickstarted my ass, that’s right
but i took your sink and washed my hands, aight
yeah, i cracked a fart on you back when i was in charge
cause you kept sh+tting around like a piece of discharge
i was the one that brought the sh+t to the toilet, ya follow me?
get it through your ass that people subbed for quantity, not quality
i’ll continue quickly sh+tting, while you struggle to let one out
so f+ck you, f+ck you, and uh f+ck you
sh+t:
holy f+ck! lotta sh+t! did you even really try?
so much effortlessness you can’t even manage to wipe
try to act tough and fearless but did you forget
who was there everytime in your life you took a sh+t?
p++ped me over, said h+ll with it, you’re selfish
you wasted your wipes went to fame and tried to sell it
i’m finished with this flushed+up hypocritical chum
so cr+p for once try to get your d+mn job done
cr+p:
p++p, stop your gloop
you said the same sloop, yesterdayoop
and it hadn’t even been relevant the past year
you ass here, that’s what your braps sound like
you asked what i sh+t of it? didn’t ya?
don’t worry i’ll dump and reflush the toilet to fix it up
which is what i’m doin’ when you think
i’m screwin’ around, prosh+tterbating, and
p++pin’ a round, masterwasting
i could do your job better than you when my ass is off track
sedated! and you say you the cr+pper who made this?
what a fib, what a lonely sh+t
who’s only p+ssed cause he knows
p++p and i co+owned. we sh+ts with no b+tch
so we spent our time moldin and sculptin it
loathed in the p++p process man it was so lit
then you came in and took a sh+t all over it!
sh+t:
that statement is bullcr+p, like a p++py p++pp++pyin
did pretty much nothing, yet claimed that you were sh+tting it
and after our p++p, you wasted quite fast
went from okay flow into cr+pper rap! (brap!)
p++p:
pretty ironic sh+t talks about cr+ppers doing nothing
and owning it; you self awaste or something?
should’ve known these sh+tters would f+ck my legacy up
now bow down to your cr+p daddy; give this c+ck a suck
cr+p:
p++p? i’ve already flushed his p++p in
in 20 sh+t+teen by a landslide, it was p++p+sh+t
mm, he flushed it, and i’ll do it again to sh+t something
like his fans do his work for him and they’re paid in umm sh+t!!!!
p++p
you think your sh+tlevance breaks out being in this crew?
i mean, f+ckin’ h+ll, you’re p++ping more than i do
a sh+t joke? you tried, bro, bein’ something you’re not
with your equals pee rip+offs and your p++pin’+viewin’ robots
sh+t
to be p++pin’ zoopin’ everytime that i see ya
at least you’re a good wiper, jk bazinga!!!!!!!!!!!!
i sh+t you both now, that’s what i’m about bro
i got the final word in, so now cr+p roll the outro
feces:
(loud brap) [x2]
sh+t:
[rolls eyes] okay, feces, no one really thinks that’s funny
feces (talking):
umm, i really don’t give a sh+t or anything, sh+t, but okay buddy
feces (rapping):
erbsh+ttery, you inspired erbop++ptoons
but it’s clear, this sh+tsa is more talented than all of you
even though you are p++ps, you guys are not very clean
so prepared to be dissed by this sh+t+dropping+teen
you guys are sh+tting, got many fans watching to cry
when p++p was p+ssed for not playing cawthon
it’s so bullsh+t how i bust my ass to bring quality droppings
in my toilet and i’m outsh+tted by this sh+t that no one wanted
p++p smells bad, in this sh+t duel, i’ll k!ll yo
i’m p++ping you out worse than your sh+t+covered d+ld+
sh+t says i’m “wanted for free p++p stars” that can’t spit one
at least they can respond unlike dookie, p++pie, and, dung
sh+t:
no need to be a sh+tbag about this battle
claim that i’m sh+t? well let’s look at all three of your cr+pples
cr+ppy p++pies aren’t tasty, cr+ppypastas are lazy
and your sh+ttysh+ts series is the reason i’m crazy
feces:
call ‘em sh+t all you want, but shat, we’re not the same, g
without us, you’d be p++ping with sh+tcob on the count of three
you already know i’m right, don’t go ask for a reflush
cause i’m p++ping you faster than the p++p vs sh+t rerun
cr+p:
your p++p is distasteful, i’m astonished at the waste you’ve l!cked
i could do better than you when i was flushed down a toilet
the hate when i p++p, but ooh, feceeees
you have an ass and still make filthy p++p jokes, like ya b+tt, g
feces:
off+sh+t+flow is what you’re known fo, oh no
if a sh+t face+off is what you want then let’s go
tryna step to me will make you wanna sh+t again later
unscripted sh+tses i’ll dump like all your money from toilet paper
p++p:
f+ck you, feces, with your gall to call us p+ssies
crying like a little cr+p while you and sh+t are playing p++psies
starting bullsh+t with the p++p, then he races when i p++p in
the attitude comes with two asses and two chins
feces:
yeah, no sh+t i f+cked up, but let’s look at your sh+tstakes
lost a girl cause you hid behind a fake toilet? nice job mate
bow down to your new prince, don’t mistake me for sh+tsh+t
it’s best to get back to your bathroom you sh+t for, b+tch!
sh+t:
you guys hear this sh+t? i can’t stand his lines
cr+p:
should we sh+t him out?
p++p:
we won’t have to stand his lines
all 3:
feces, no offense, but we’re not giving you any cr+p
feces:
hey, f+cking stooooop, and add me back
call an erbp++pemedic! these b+tt buddies are flushed
looks like i’ve sh+tten the p++p spot, yeah, that’s all, bruh
p++p:
oh, great. just what we f+cking p++ped!
dung:
excrement:
sorry about that dung, but all your bullsh+t makes me smile
you know staying out of your toilet isn’t really in my style
began as a stain in the toilet, but now my p++p comes to fruition
flushing you fanmade sh+ts to end captain defacation’s mission
was brought here from p++p’s funeral and it still makes me hostile
considering after three sh+ts, it still smells awful!
i’ve tried to lend you all some wipes but i’m a loss at what to say
when half you babies lose your sh+t because i p++p the wrong way
when everyone makes my dung a chore
it’s a good thing i’m use to p++pie lore
cause all your whiny sh+t could make a guy’s sh+t crack
from p++p.com to caca’s cr+p
your sh+tty groups and p++pie wars
but yeah sure i’m the caca wh0re
so go ahead and sh+t and moan some more
i’ve already heard all of your dung before
dung:
excrement:
keep on going about the p++p pack and how i’m so stinky
at least when i wiped for you i didn’t make your ass messy
cr+p:
man, what do you know ‘bout flushing some p++p, excrement?
how ‘bout you make some feces before you call your sh+t excellent?
excrement:
oh, cr+p, everyone here already knows you’re a giant sh+tstain
cause you haven’t flushed this f+cker since that one time it caused pain
sh+t:
rawr, it’s big sh+tty excrement, tryna sh+t a good flow
i talked to your sh+t mom, she gave me a sh+t blow
excrement:
go ahead and sh+t again like the last time i hurt your p++pies
the writers of this really need to k!ll off their f+cking series
feces
p+ss off monkey+persh+tty+sh+ts, yea, ya know it’s true
i’ll get a multi+flush, once i pull the f+cking plug on you
excrement:
nothing’s safe from your dirty hands, you’ll regret being an imp++per
when i end your career in cold sh+ts like a sh+tty creepyp++per
p++p:
nearly five p++ps later and your ass is still acting bitter?
it’s no wonder that i shat you to go hang out on sh+tter (dot com)
excrement:
i’ve never gone to a bathroom that’s why my bars are so dirty
drinking toilet water we can all tell that you’re so thirsty
(pre+verse)
dookie:
trololololol, nah, this sh+t’s very real
but ironically, you all act like you eat f+cking cr+ppy meal+
doodoo:
yo, i’m linked to the toilet, but at least i stay unflushed, dude
cuz sh+t i stay on fire, like you just ate mexican food
(verse) dookie:
all of this bullsh+t’s why i’m here to sh+t this
been rapping out dipsh+ts since before i used sh+tstrips
but i gotta give you some credit sh+t, cause you know
i cancelled p++pie+pee but your series is more flushed down the hole
p++p, i’m gonna be sh+t, no, not the kind you eat
not everything revolves around you and your sh+tstains are weak
my p++pspective of you, it got a little bit sh+tty
when you dipped out to get titties in liberty city
feces, your early sh+ts were really d+mn painful
excrement’s almost as +n+l as sh+t and p++p are sh+tsal
dung, everything that comes out of your ass just sounds dumb
f+ck this, i’d rather listen to cr+p’s doodie p++pblum
sh+t:
dookie, your p++pblum was wack, and your p++p makes me sick
cover up the toilet? more like cover up this sh+t
dookie:
i got the p++p todo the things that i want todo
not nestle all my days away in my p++proom
excrement:
crying from all this diarrhea, does your sh+tcare cover tissues?
no sh+tscle plans, kid fans, man, i marvel at your sh+tsues
dookie:
ah, shut up, excrement, i won’t be drinking your pee
rapping me when a toilet is the only thing you can defeat
cr+p:
what, are your b+lls acting up, you sound smelly and congested
you couldn’t p++p against’ me in this battle with ya best sh+ts
dookie:
nice stains, cr+p+tooth. you know what? f+ck you
the p++p+cover p++pblum? guess what? it sucked, too!
dung:
dookie:
scoot it, p++poo dude, here, you’re the cap++pse
takes you so long to sh+t, how’d you think you wouldn’t lose?
feces:
i don’t trust b+tches who like looking at this motherfacka
the worst representation of c+p++ps ever since caca!
dookie:
who let the sh+tskers in? ah, sh+t, it’s just feces
couldn’t tell from that cr+p you spat worse than a pee pee
waste:
clear the waste for the headlining cr+p of this p++p brawl
i’m surprised i’m here this late you sh+ts dont matter at all
ya know, without the diarrhea, me and sh+t’s troll there
erbobruh would be absolutely f+cking nowhere
and yet i’m dissh+tted, despite all of the cr+p i do
why’d i even sh+t out this verse? you’re probably gonna flush it too
it’s quite the shame you’ve let my sh+ts go to waste
i’d think someone who understands p++p would run this place
and don’t think my use of fat pogs and chungus mats is lame, g
don’t forget, i had diarrhea before it was mainstream
i’ve torn the toilet down by the hairs on my sh+tty sh+t
sh+t, it’s clear i win, i’ve flush you all into oblivion
sh+t:
you suck up to every toilet, but worst comes to worst
got on erbofp++pie, but really “erbosh+t did it first”
waste:
this ginger p++pie sure takes after his scat
look at my sh+ts: your cr+ps are worse than that stain on your ass
dung:
waste:
poo hoo, you had to sh+t out some tp…
step to me, and you’ll get wiped, tp!
excrement:
you guys remember sh+t vs p++p? i don’t
how it’d die? a hairysh+tstain2875
waste:
excrement’s back to flushing and i’m feeling the tension
keeping sh+ting, soon enough you’ll need another p++poovention
dookie
you’re history poo pee, and i’m not the first that’s said it
stop slaving these b+tches and learn how to wipe it
waste:
there’s tons of sh+tty sh+tty singers, why am i facing this one?
you sh+twits coming after me reminds me of a sh+thunt
feces:
anytime i can’t sh+t out your edits, you lose your sh+t
over a p++pies that based on the most cr+p subject in it
waste:
i was a whiny little sh+t, but it’s not like you’re any better
and i wouldn’t have been “cr+pped” if you actually put in effort
p++p:
oh shut the f+ck up on effort because can’t you pee?
we do all that sh+t for you but it’s not enough for your tp
waste:
since i used fictional sh+ts sp+wned by their creators
i’ll make sure to use you and your p++pcial sk!lls later
t+rd:
alert alert my feces buzzer’s gone berserk
when i face the sh+ttiest diarrhea to call themselves mature
my content’s all sh+tsansational, but your channels are p++ped, for
you call yourselves sh+tsen but can’t even take a p++per!
despite my sh+t nuggetbase, i know you’re envious of me
but even i cannot unflush a dead sh+tmunity
and as the greater sh+tter i’ll actually release a t+rd
with 1,013 reasons you leave plumbers concerned
that’s it, you p++py p++ps, you’ll pay for your crimes against my art form
pushing the sh+tagory further while you’re d+mned to just the sorsh+t norm
i’ve got your seven sh+ts in hand, you just need to flush the waste
leave you six feet underp++p, and that’s on p++p of a based
by the way, don’t forget to support me on toilet.com
sh+t:
you actually shat up for once? wow, what a sight
and i won’t lend you any paper when all of your p++pies wipe
t+rd:
don’t talk sh+t about my paper, you forgot your end is near
when you haven’t dropped a t+rd in your toilet in almost two years
p++p:
let me drop into this sh+t like your smelly pee+pee+gs
while your shat factory’s churning out hyper hyp++psicry
t+rd:
p++p, just cut the cr+p, because your bathroom’s fallen to sh+t
i’m just surprised you didn’t try to drag a towel into this
cr+p:
i listened to your lines, and i’m surprised, sh+tlock
you sure know for a lot for someone who has a small c+ck
t+rd:
don’t act like that, you know it’s easy to reach me, cr+p
literally all i know about you is that a real ass you lack!
dung:
t+rd:
quit jacking off to sh+te, don’t think that you’re flushing tall!
cause i’ll clog the toilet and i’ll make you pay for it all!
feces:
just like your sh+tuals, i’ll be leaving you looking frozen sh+t
b+tch, i’ll forever be the better fecal matter artist
t+rd:
you really need to hush when you drop a t+rd on the verse
i’ll forever be the better steven p++paverse
dookie:
with p++ps and pee culture, you’re way too over obsessive
i’m dookie, yet you’re the one who’s more passive aggressive
t+rd:
i’ll sh+tstrip you of your peego, man, i thought you were my friend
but i’ll sh+t out your ass later when we brap battle again
excrement:
here’s a hard p++p to you, dookie dude, to make your towel unravel
your sh+tting makes friction battles of hard p++ps and gravel
t+rd:
shut it p++piep++persh+ts, you don’t know cr+p about this game
dude, half of your career was sh+ts that i asked you to take
waste:
it seems in making sh+tted battles, you’ve wound up decr+pped
you stole a line from peerb and yet expect to win this match
t+rd:
if you casting doodie as toilet paper seems like the craziest
look at your sh+tishers and shid+it+ing! now that’s what i call laziness!
brap:
that’s enough you c+nts brap is back from the dead
and i’ve been listening to every single sh+t that you’ve said
this needs to end. we have to stop this p++p
because right now this battle feels even longer than a very long p++p
what started as a small sh+tbute has transformed
into a brap empire, farturating more and more
think about it, just look at how far we’ve sh+t
our p++ps and cr+ps, since we sat on the toliet
we were just sh+ts in the fart, way before we brapped a fart
p++p, cr+p and sh+t, you were there from the start
you shat out the seed, our toilet, this bathroom
will never leave our asses, it means the world to me
for half a decade, we’ve been doing the same thing, yo
that’s why this battle is a p++paphor for us smelling gross
‘cause it’s our childhood, and i know that it’s scary
but we’ll move on together! we’re forever a sh+taily
and no matter all the p++ps, sh+ts and cr+ps that occur
just remember that we’ll never truly flush each other
because one day when we’re grown up and settled with families, yuh
we’ll look back and think of erbobruh
and remember a piece of sh+t, all that won’t diminish
because this p++p is still growing and won’t ever be sh+tished
we all have our farts, so let’s accept that and end this
remember why this all started, everything is for our friendsh+t!
markiplier’s stream of p+ss:
i think you’re forgetting someon+
(toilet gets flushed)
who flushed
whos s+x
you poocide
p++p filled battles of dungery
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