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ex-giant – charge the goose lyrics


pants down, charge the goose, and so on and so forth
the feathered f+ck’s come in from his funded laboratory, plush with ample assistants

government paid avian research
citing some stipulation about bipeds
(with their wily and arcane knowledge of academic bureaucracy)

early evidence proves promising, mr. honk says
but none of my wingedly challenged colleagues seem able to replicate their results

my lucky number was thursday
and because venus is on holiday
i would apparently be well+advised to steer clear of airport fiction
or, for that matter, any of its many likenesses (which i’m assured are very coincidental)

one suggestion is that i take into my employ any actor bearing even the slightest resemblance to zippy
that being said, this has proved to be somewhat challenging

i may try searching the various knackers’ yards that line the chelmsford high+street
a friend of a friend has had great success in this regard
at least part owing to the great house orgy of ’99
the products of which having perished in the majority
whether by foul+play, war, or related equine afflictions

mr, or perhaps i should say professor, honk has been implicated in the matter
somewhere between explaining his thesis and making idle chat about the state of the nation
and attempting to finally prove the connection between developing one’s palate and being accosted, constantly, by acolytes of the free market
at the moment, i’m just trying to stay positive
in the hopes that these warriors will find success
then i might finally find some way to avoid her cloying stares
and being badgered to give the boxsets one last chance
just because i had the gall to eat a piece of arancini and try gouda at michael barrymore’s key party

it may all be for the best
until then, i can just carry on hoping
take these briefs off
and charge that goose