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flummox – freedom rooster lyrics

let me tell you the story of the biggest c#ck in the neighborhood
a haram of hens appeared in his shadow wherever he stood
well he’s a bad mother#clucker with a fiery feathered tail
they call him freedom rooster & i’m gonna rhyme his tail with this tale

when he was hatched & just a chick
he was adopted by meth addicts
and taken to the wrong side of bradyville pike
there he was never allowed to roam
a barbwire cage was considered his home
they pumped him up full of steroids every night
he never was allowed to crow nor sing
only allowed to be thrown in the ring
where he would face other poultry as his foes
that rooster, he was living rough
living in a meth lab in a cage so stuffed
he only longed for a chance to spring & grow

those junkies didn’t know what they were raising
the only rooster ever worthy of praising
you’ll state in disbelief, this rooster was no chief
he is the very symbol of justice & liberty

hey freedom rooster!
why don’t you fly somewhere instead of being stuck in the boro?
fly freedom rooster!
why don’t you fly sometime & be somewhere else tomorrow?

it wasn’t long before the pigs caught wind
that some white trash was slinging crystal sin
and running c#ckfights in a wh0re house tweaking speed
they busted in, demanding hands be raised
and arrested everybody in that place
and proceeded to search the entire property
that tricky rooster had been waiting on
somebody to come & free him all along
he knew his opportunity had come at last
the cops popped open the first trunk they saw
from where our rooster sprung with pointed claw
and sprinted quicker than a cheetah with a wrench up his ass

those coppers didn’t know that they were chasing
the only rooster ever worthy of praising
he springs ferociously with tiny chicken feet
those piggies couldn’t sn#tch him off the boro streets

hey freedom rooster!
why don’t you fly somewhere instead of being stuck in the boro?
fly freedom rooster!
why don’t you fly sometime & be somewhere else tomorrow?

“now this right here you’re about to hear is what we call chicken picking down yonder in tennessee. but for this song, we’re gonna call it rooster picking, because this song is about one of them dang ol’ c#ckadoodle doers. so let’s clap our hands, stomp those feet, & praise merle travis! we’re about to have a hoe down: flummox style.”

it didn’t take that rooster long
to spin the life he had before this song
he raised himself a poultry poly#colony family
he has a few wives & a few dozen kids
living inside a white picket fence
that circles the old foreclosed meth’d out facility
he now patrols his neighborhood
making sure that everyone’s doing what they should
and if they’re not, he’s gonna come & peck out their eyes
those cops don’t f#ck with the c#ck no more
they know their place & give him room to soar
his jurisdiction is the only thing keeping the place nice

that rooster didn’t know how he’s amazing
he is the only rooster worthy of praising
he’s got his chicks to feed
and all his hens to seed
he is the very symbol of the american dream

hey freedom rooster!
why don’t you fly somewhere instead of being stuck in the boro?
fly freedom rooster!
why don’t you fly sometime & be somewhere else tomorrow?

this has been the story of the biggest c#ck in the neighborhood
better have paid attention or you’re gonna get your eyes pecked good
cause he’s a bad mother#clucker
with a fiery feathered tail
his name is freedom rooster & this is the end of his tale

- flummox lyrics

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