fred lane – cinderblock man lyrics
i’m the cinderblock man
i’m known throughout the land
the kids all call me “mister”
but you can call me “stan”
i walk erect, i live alone
my body is my home
i don’t wear socks, i don’t wear shoes
i go to the bathroom where i choose
i’m the cinderblock man
the finest in the land
and if you do not like me
i’ll crush you in my hands
-laughs-
(cinderblock man) hi, i’m the cinderblock man
i like you
can i go home with you?
i’m lonely
everyone is a-frightened of me
they’re afraid i’ll try to step on them and crush them
you’re not afraid of me, are you?
well, the other day, i was walking down the street
minding my own business
and all of a sudden, i heard a cry for help
(m-ffled voice)
what’s that?
(m-ffled voice: “oh my god!”)
why it sounds like it’s coming from that old abandoned refrigerator
i’d better take a look
(m-ffled voice)
(cinderblock man) i’ll be a name
a child’s trapped in there
he could suffocate in 10 minutes
i’ll get you out, little fella!
you shouldn’t be playing rocketship in there
here, take my hand
(child) uuugh! it’s frankenstein!
(cinderblock man) wait, little boy! come back
i only wanted to…
he’s going into that house over there, across the street
i’ll go tell his mom
the door is open
h-llo? anybody home?
(child) there he is, mom! he was about to tear me into to tiny pieces!
(cinderblock man) but i…
(mom) get out of here, you masonary ape!
you’re scr-ping all the varnish off the floor!
get out!
oh, oh… he knocked over the fern!
(cinderblock man) but…but…
oh, boo hoo hoo
you see why i’m so lonely?
no one loves me, and i’m all alone in the world
won’t you be my friend?
i’m the cinderblock man
the finest in the land
and if you do not like me
i’ll crush you in my hands
(evil laughter, wind, chaos)
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