gas station encounters – the beef thief lyrics
[verse 1]
oh no! here we go again
got another thief rolling in with his friend
not tryna spend, he can’t afford no
snacks then he looks back
and says “d+mn that’s a nice explorer yo”
“i like the fact it’s ford so”
“it’s kinda fast but more slow”
“yo i know you like steal but don’t steal from this store bro”
“walk in through the door slow”
“nod your head, ignore those”
“snacks, you got no cash, so watch those hands and just act normal”
you’ve just been warned bro
so don’t be stupid
think about the repercussions
of being a nuisance
don’t be a doofus
that’s just my two cents
it’s ruthless to just loot sh+t so it’s prudent you don’t do it
ugh
[verse 2]
there’s a cute chick up there with the manager
they ain’t looking at me though so guess i’ll find the cameras
and there’s one
dang it maybe i should wait ain’t planned enough
look around at random stuff
building up my stamina
[verse 3]
yea
i really think i’m manning up
look at all my handsome scruff
i got both my hands to cuff
d+mn it’s tough
don’t know what i want
but think i have a hunch
maybe grab some planters nuts
or maybe a bag of runts
nope
[verse 4]
and by the way my manners suck
i got sticky fingers like tarantulas
think it’s time to grab and clutch
look up at the counter then back at my lunch
then back at the counter then put back the bunch
of beef sticks
i can’t believe this clerk thinks he is
one of the best thief catchers
he just missed me slip
these sticks in my pocket
the fake put back got him
and now i’m not stopping
so watch me take off
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