goldie lookin chain – song for kelly lyrics
eggsy
i seen that film, american pie
where a bloke f-cked the food, so i gave it a try
my technique was slightly off-key
it involved tinned meat and a pop celebrity
i wouldn’t hurt her if i saw her on the street
but i wanna make a statue just of kelly for me
you know, it all started way back when
using spam to carve boys ii men
i used bacon to make rusty lee
kelly osbourne, you’re my meat fantasy
you’re always there when i need to talk
and i love the way your fingers and your toes are made (from pork)
all
i made a corned beef kelly osbourne
and i f-cked it when i was watching p-rn
i made a corned beef kelly osbourne
and i f-cked it when i was watching p-rn
maggot
minimum content, 3% meat
i trimmed the fat off, it looked really neat
made the torso and shaped the thighs
but i’m stuck, i’ve got nothing for the eyes
billy
fluid dripping like a running tap
when i warm my meat up and rub it on the lap
xain
making bacon with reformed ham
people pay money for this in amsterdam
mysty
meat fantasies often give me the h-rn
but nothing like a corned beef kelly osbourne
you’re divine, so s-xy, so tasty
like meat in a pie when i penetrate the pastry
xain
this girl i was with had a vag like corned beef
it was all smashed up and i thought it had t–th
i thought kebab was on the main course
so i covered it in my own special garlic sauce
all
i made a corned beef kelly osbourne
and i f-cked it when i was watching p-rn
i made a corned beef kelly osbourne
and i f-cked it when i was watching p-rn
xain
i f-cked a corned beef kelly osbourne
i f-cked a corned beef kelly osbourne
y’know
adam
sit back kid, take a book outta my leaf
i love to f-ck a pile of sweaty sticky beef
down aldi’s they’re looking at me funny
twelve tins of corned beef now it’s a cunny
ooh, i’m gonna f-ck you, right here, right now
make a mess with my stiff, gonna show you how
stick it in, watch the foreskin
try to f-ck the tin, rip my banjo string
cos you knows i wanna f-ck that prime fillet cut
with a bit of lippy dressed up like a sl-t
getting down on the floor for a bit of scr-w-ng
’til someone said “oi w-nker, what you doing?”
threw me out, i raised an objection
with corned beef still stuck to my erection
so what, f-ck ’em, i don’t give a toss
i’m going home with a fray bentos
all
i made a corned beef kelly osbourne
and i f-cked it when i was watching p-rn
i made a corned beef kelly osbourne
and i f-cked it when i was watching p-rn
mysty/xain
meat fantasies (meaty meaty meat)
meat fantasies (meaty meaty meat)
meat fantasies (meaty meaty meat)
meat fantasies
meat fantasies
xain
aaah, that’s right, back with the rhythm
like a ginster’s pasty covered in j-sm
maggot
meaty b-tches out on a binge
i’m going home with a corned beef minge
billy
sh-gging the meat, but i ain’t mincing
hiding my eyes to stop me gagging and wincing
at the smell of the rancid spammy clam
as a steak tenderiser goes “bam bam bam!”
mike
madame tussauds you got nothing on me
i got my own meatworks laboratory
all saints and spice girls and miss zeta-jones
all i want is the meat, don’t care about the bones
eggsy
i tried s-x shops, i tried dvds
it don’t mean sh-t compared to meats like these
aspic jelly, and a coating of lard
these are the things that make my p-n-s go hard
all
i made a corned beef kelly osbourne
and i f-cked it when i was watching p-rn
i made a corned beef kelly osbourne
and i f-cked it when i was watching p-rn
i made a corned beef kelly osbourne
and i f-cked it when i was watching p-rn
i made a corned beef kelly osbourne
and i f-cked it when i was watching p-rn
xain
i f-cked a corned beef kelly osbourne
i f-cked a corned beef kelly osbourne
y’knows
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