guardin – fate lyrics
hey you
i just called again to say
sorry for the things i do i haven’t been okay
i’m rippin’ you apart until you’re nothing but a face
i don’t realize i do this sh-t until it’s just too late
and i struggle tryna juggle till my problems go away
but i never understand it never see the light of day
i just sit inside my room smoking till my lungs go gray
and the smoke is lying to me, caving in until i fray
and i know my problems come from what i birth inside my brain
mixing my reality with what my mind considers pain
didn’t know what i was doing till it all just went away
i f-cking lost you in the process, a monster under the reign
of what i feel and it ain’t f-cking true
i’ve grown another hue
never actin’ like it matters all i f-cking do
supposed to use this music sh-t as a f-cking tool
but i’ve been drowning in my water it’s a darker blue
the water rises and i’m trapped inside my head now
don’t wanna talk about it, rather go to bed now
let it build, let it build till i stress out
and f-ck sobriety seshin’ until i’m g-ssed out
i’m a son without a father
thinking i could make it farther
than my roots but it gets harder every day
when you try your best to grow up
never meant for this to blow up
i’m just throwing up on all that i create
finding purpose in the serpents
seepin’ deeper than the surface
imma pick up all the pieces till they stay
and imma run into those arms
baby don’t you be alarmed
now that i know everything i wanna say
i’m a product of the seasons when the weather doesn’t change
i’m a cold blooded b-st-rd as backwards as my own brain
never giving it a hundred, like fifty if i’m okay
i was selfish for a moment, was frozen in my array
never meant for it to hurt you, desertin’ you when i fade
but this ghost has found his body, i’m wishin’ you would’ve stayed
i’ve been battling these demons since 12 i know you relate
cause you handed me your sword and told me to decide my fate
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