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half man half biscuit – sealclubbing lyrics

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i was just sitting there eating a salmonella sandwich
when a man walked up to me
“would you mind, dear sir, if i asked you a question?
if music be the food of love, are you the indigestion?”
wo-oh ippee ay oh

found myself standing ‘mongst a score or so of ageing grans and granddads
when a frail voice asked of me:
“would you mind, dear boy, i just can’t stand all this tension
please let me in front of you so i can cash me pension”
no-oh ippee ay oh

frank was going through a state of depression in his bedroom
when he reached out for the jar
he swallowed every last pill and he lay back on his duvet
a haliborange overdose is perhaps not the right way
to ooh-ooh, to kill yourself

down beside the babbling brook
i was trying to sketch myself a stallion
when the stallion said to me:
“that’s the third biro that you’ve broke and all day i cannot wait
you can lead a horse to water but a pencil must be lead mate”
ooh-ooh said the stallion

me and my girl – sealclubbing
me and my girl – out on the ice
me and my girl – sealclubbing
me and my girl – ooh paradise