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hermi7 khalfani – black tofu lyrics

[angry asian restaurant skit: ownage pranks & angry asian]
-phone rings-
angry asian: -mumbles- can i help you?
ownage pranks: i need to speak to someboodee, who can speaka chinese?
angry asian: i am, umm uh yeah what you need?
ownage pranks: the sh-t, i need to make order today
angry asian: du no, no it’s too late bye
ownage pranks: du no, h-llo, look here big boy, i need to make big order for fi-
angry asian: –no no, we leavings
ownage pranks: five hundred dolla! five hundred dolla i give you five hundred dolla! i give you fi-
angry asian: i don’t care! -hangs up-
ownage pranks: you–f-ck you b-tch!

[verse 1: hermi7 khalfani]

i live for speed, initialize the ignition in my eight-six
they heavy on the corners moving mountains and bricks
don’t live to quick
fifteen, that boy caught hollow tips and it’s a shame
his mother at work still scr-ping up tips
unknown to her
baby boy sleeping on that black top
father in the pen, did a bid for whippin’ his strap out
top ramen in my top hat not known for pullin’ no mac out
but i’ll mack down on a uphill
i’ll switch gears and then dash out
don’t spill ya cup half empty ain’t thing
revving my levin until the cork pop the spring
won’t take no fast start, easy on the gas and observe
watch don’t swerve!
sl!ck the streets
boy s-l-y and ducking shots from a g-a-t
or with ya honey in the s-h-eets
pump quick
thanks, tips for the speedy delivery

[hook: hermi7 khalfani]

i got that black
they got that black tofu
spinning karate kicks chop down
tae-fondue
cheese and cheddar for the peppers getcha’ wet for the weather
them stained holes in ya sweater hard to keep it together
and i–

[angry asian restaurant skit: ownage pranks & angry asian]
-phone rings-
angry asian: h-llo, i don’t care
ownage pranks: i k!ll you, i k!ll you right now
angry asian: k!ll me, i’m right here, k!ll me okay
ownage pranks: okay, i come with two chopsticks i shove up your -ss
angry asian: two chopsticks? come over here talk to me in the face
ownage pranks: likaa sumboodee, you, f-ck you b-tch!

[verse 2: hermi7 khalfani]

yo i compromise, laid my pride aside
took a curve real smooth then i slide inside
i fly away to the moon, now i’m by and by
get ’em moving in the pews like a winans’ child
i smell the wine inside, it got a foul stench to it
carry weight on his shoulders like a two ton tunic
feel the wrath of the god like the folks up munich
got a unit for the union of the people of the ruins
keep it moving

[bridge: angry asian, hermi7 khalfani, & joshua guidry]

keep it moving (7x) (hermi7 khalfani)
“h-llo” (angry asian)
come on ryan, tell the n-ggas what’s going on
they don’t know sh-t about you!
they don’t know sh-t about the 7arc n-gga!
the f-ck son son? they gon’ tell us we can’t rap n-gga
show them n-ggas son, f-ck! (joshua guidry)

[verse 3: hermi7 khalfani]

now stay in line, they might spray the line
don’t cut it too close, you might bump the sides
said my arc been perfected i don’t miss the line
i go rhyme for rhyme, i never hit the brakes
made a pit stop once had a cake to bake
i got a fate to break, i got a race to make
on a downhill slope with a sp-ce to shape
i got a crate of apes, got a swing so mean they replaced the babe
a lot of sh-t i take
on a climb with a vine and a bop will shake
i put my life on the line cause the vine could break
i eat the plate and scr-pe, but never waste away
tofu on the menu with a steak to make
no expiration date
in the streets i’m safe
second nature to the herm, got some leaves to rake
got some leaves to rake, i got some leaves to rake

[angry asian restaurant skit: ownage pranks & angry asian]

- hermi7 khalfani lyrics

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