hiway – the wrapper lyrics
it was brisk december day in northern california
i was doing my part to boost the economy
trying to get my last minute shopping done
but the last paid period wasn’t promising
my holiquest has gone to sh-t
i got a simple mission but i can’t accomplish it
my pops had it easy
kids these days all want that expensive -ss electronic sh-t
just because they want me to buy them a d-mn ipad
doesn’t mean i’ll do it
little ungrateful motherf-ckers will be lucky if they don’t get a rock with a string tied to it
and all these punk as carolers trying to spread all the cheer
i can see right through it
y’all don’t want to see me cancel out santa’s handiwork
especially after seeing that green guy do it
my bad
i’m a little turnt off of all this eggnog
got the jolly old spirit in me, grandmama
i’m down i’d die for the yultide
matter of fact, motherf-cking starbucks and the cups
y’all want a war y’all got it
wait
aaron umm aren’t you jewish?
shouldn’t you be wearing that funny little hat and going hrah with your words?
no i’m only half, you b-tch
oh, well whatever you believe in happy holidays i wish nothing but the best for you
oh i see what you did there, nice
by the way, how politically correct of you
i could barely hear the bigotry in all that
it’s good to see that some people can respect my views
now if you’ll excuse me ima take my dreidel and bounce while i’m still feeling kind of dest-tute
fair warning
i’m a cold, piece of work, frosty
do not make me, have to beat you little motherf-cker like i’m beating crosby (jew reference)
somebody must have poured a sh-t load of brandy, up in that hot tottie inch
one hoe, two hoe, three hoe
i’m about to slay some sh-t
now who got shottie, (bang)
finna make it rain, dear time for you to get in that
i’m trying to make some beard pose
yes i’m rude hop in it
in a drunken stupor showing off my alcoholic red nose
so bright you would even see it makes my whole head glow
when i’m dead frozen i tread slow
you should let’em know
ain’t n0body touching you when that bob sled race
little mama ready set go
okay, random thought, what are we aiding and abetting saint nic
when he’s breaking and entering, all up in our fridge
eating all our cookies but depending on behavior our kids may never get a thing
kind of warped if ask me
in a way this sounds like one h-ll of a despot
an old man with a power complex and a colony of elves working in a sweat shop
i’m jamming all the holiday cl-ssics, cooking up jingle bell rock in the r1
home alone at the trap house like kevin mcallister
y’all don’t really want none, get it
if you think you can match wits and outsmart me
by all means then come on son
i throw a brick in your face
make you fall for it twice till you realize
that you f-cked with the wrong one
[twice]
this is a fict-tious, this is something for you bitter little b-tches
listen up your sip this christmas, please don’t get too big for your britches
please don’t throw a fit and go ballistic if you didn’t get what you wrote on your wish list
have a happy hanukkah, a happy kwanza
and yes have a merry little christmas
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