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home bowman – cycle lyrics

i started having to think back
on people i mismatched
but never the less
it’s every mishap
that made the man i am
i’d never give back
the smile they stole from me
i’m happy to live that

and n0body knows
taking my soul to try to put on a show
to try to master the flow
to make it past all the people
that had to stand in my road
i need to go

if i don’t vent to you now i’mma jump for sure
off that roof straight into the floor
get back up go back for more
till my skin ain’t got no pores

it’s all fake people talking like they know the story
smiles i show like it’s hunky dory
friends i know turn to jokеs it’s boring
that’s why my dopamine is acting lowly
let me tеll you why the f+ck i’m recording
twenty+three people on the list i’m mourning
thought that they were with me but the rain is pouring
i don’t see a future where their life’s important

the people i love i lay upon a short list
fisher, micheal, and bella that’s all you’re gonna get
i never try to embellish myself i’m full of sh+t
but that’s a group that i promise i’ll never f+cking diss

and mariah i remember what the f+ck they did
keep your head up homie i won’t let ’em forget
i’ve been stuck in the freezer thinking bout others’ sins
like that b+tch that drunk dialed and played pretend

don’t think i forgot that call you made
nox and i still joke about it but it’s all in vain
moving on, i think i need me a coffee mate
stimulation is the only way my heart won’t break

back in 2021, lost my two best friends
still think about ’em daily but i quit with the pen
i don’t love them anymore but i still see those trends
aphrodite, present tense, and hypoxia was the end

back in 2022, i broke three hearts straight
said they loved me in weeks and then i made my escape
i made more enemies out of women than i had dates
and reflecting upon the year i think that’s just my fate
i have these expectations that i can’t lower for no one
don’t care if the p+ssy is lacking i said no one
done with 311 i’m thinking i might roll one
but the moment i’m high is the moment my control’s done

in 2020 i smoked for three months straight
couple thousand i wasted on heavy concentrates
blacked out from the summer into my birthday
my depression had doubled unlike my bodyweight

after that my anxiety boiled me away
nearly died eating nothing like every single day
had my family and friends all watch in fear
as i visibly was dying in front of their f+cking face

but it’s fine now i found my way
now i’m worried that my heart has suffered too much decay
5 years went by where the feeling stayed dry
then i met that woman and she fixed my pain

i’m sorry that i had to leave so quick
i felt the love that you shared
and it made me sick
that i could not give you back what you tried to gift
had to protect you from the future that i saw, i miss you
but it’s better cause we never had the chance of bliss
the love was real, but the situation called for sh+t
too much distance for our lives to mix
so i decided to be honest and just burn the bridge
and that’s the life i live
broken heart too heavy from the motherf+cking fruit i pick
that’s the life i live
and you sadly came across me at a time when i only had a f+ck to give

- home bowman lyrics

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