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hotel books – nothing was different lyrics


me and my friends, we’re not the type of people
to ignore the smallest problem
hidden in the smallest church mouse
we hide our emotions, but i found out
they’re just live animals hiding in a gl-ss house

and i can’t let them out, or even let them change somehow
but that’s all i can tell you now
’cause i’m not ready to tell you everything i want you to know
but i’m ready to trust you
or at least, i’m ready to let love show

’cause i spent the last few years chasing my desires
then i found out i was just chasing my own demons
when i found desire in you, you called my words excuses
but i just thought of them as poorly-stated reasons

simple execution of neglect and preparation
for something hidden in a deeply-rooted promise
that i’ll always speak my mind
but sometimes, my mind will be mistaken

’cause me and my friends, we’re not the type of people
to leave room for error
but i make enough errors to leave an empty room in my heart
and with no one to turn the lights on
my heart lives in the dark

and i will hide the light until you ask for it to ignite
because the truth is bright, but hidden in plain sight

deep within the dark pools of your eyes
the deep secrets, cold as ice but sharp as a knife
that feeling of real vibes hidden deep inside
my dark feeling that i’m just depression’s trophy wife
a sight to exemplify surviving the night

’cause me and my friends, we never get in trouble
but we are a troubled bunch
hope lies within our potential, deep within the rubble
hoping that light will touch

a hypocritical statement,a blatant placement of words
that only have purpose if you strike a match and ignite them

and there you go, we solved the problem for darkness
but reinstated a purpose of hatred
within the deep desires, we developed to envelope
the cyclical deep desires of desiring deep connections
to add depth to the thick skin of our emptiness

questioning, representing messages
of necessary self-fulfillment
some are satisfied with their instinct to survive
through the storm of darkness, others call it selfishness

but me and my friends
we don’t subscribe to the cloud of confusion
found in questioning what turns the lights on
no, we never asked
’cause me and my friends
we see the light on and celebrate regardless
but sometimes the light doesn’t matter
when we wear a mask

so what is gained if this isn’t me?
it’s like having lungs but no ability to breathe
i guess the light exposed the fact
that acceptance became a dead end
and it’s the only conclusion i can see
’cause someday, maybe the identity of “me and my friends”
will just be “me”

but with this mask, it doesn’t matter how bright the lights are
’cause i don’t know who i am
i don’t know who i am, unless it’s me and my friends