ilusen’s fallacy – 5) opium and belladonna lyrics
i
substances
the matter at hand
a choice, that sets a rotten path
one you can’t tread back
nor change where it goes
it’s too much weight
once held, you’re cradled in it’s arms
life, from then, transformed
a tsundere to defy, you
interrelate
an amber full of joy
indulgence at a risk
no one matters, as long as you get a fix
emotional blockage, interstellar feeling
blissful numbness that has you kneeling
poison in the form of a dried latex
memory fades, succ-mbing to sensation
a familiar feeling you want, reacquainted
a difficult battle against your own must, your own will
but once you give in, you’re at a temporary fill
a seed, so tiny in a yield
cultivated from the same field
a toxic substance that trades your value to hallucinate
you feel the floor under incline
the buzz of brain cells as they die
you fail to show any concern as you let your mind deteriorate
ii
short term side effects
emmnas’s perspective
i gazed on down, distraught, as this all took place
impossible to endure that behavior
impacted deeply at what i’d discovered
all i felt was a displacive failure
two options laid down in front of me
torn between two choices i had with you, i was confused
all the times i woke up near midnight, unsettled, and disturbed, and perturbed
challenged when i’d do all i could do
why was it so hard
for you to see what you’d do?
you tried to create leverage, like what you’d do would reflect
on who i was, like it was a part of us
you tried to find a crack to fill, something i would deflect
i was lucky to, see through your invalid trust
upon my frail decision, to give you up, to cut the tie
it wasn’t something that i wished to do
you backed me up against a wall, one that would’ve taken me
ensnared me, something that i couldn’t live up to
why couldn’t you see?
that you damaged yourself more than you hurt me
(long falsetto)
why can’t you see
what you did to me?
i couldn’t see
you tried to help me
iii
long term side effects
emcere’s perspective
breathe
help me
drowning
i need
sensory fades, transforming to elation
a familiar feeling you need, reacquainted
a difficult battle against your own want, your own will
as always, you give in, you’re at your temporary fill
you didn’t understand what was wrong
you are ent-tled to help me
i made a mistake, and i’m hurt but
i demand you take me back and help
i pushed you away and did this to
myself while hurting the ones i loved
you persisted to help me through it
yourself, but i went and ended your
trust
i’m
alone
please
don’t go
help me through
i beg of you
at first it was just to stay a
little try, i had no idea that it’d
lead to this, i’m succ-mbed by
its hold on me, i can’t break fit
it weakens you and it freely
wrecks your life, burning all that you care about
to ashes and replacing them with
turbulence, opium and belladonna
it weakens you and it freely
wrecks your life, melting all that you care about
to resin and replacing it with
turbulence, opium and belladonna
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