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introvert (pa) – gelston after dark lyrics

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no hope
no love

i am a never-ending nuisance
a plague on my peers
i am a monument to failure
the embodiment of fear
can you hear me?
can you hear me at all?
i know i let you down
i forced you to fall

self-inflicted
a victim
of my own superst-tion
counting tiles on the ceiling
just to mitigate this feeling
that everything’s wrong
and this is just the beginning

all i’ve ever done
is let down the ones i love
steal from my friends
iust to try and have enough
i’m a f-cking joke
and it’s starting to show
dug myself too deep
in what was a shallow hole

what what

can you even remember my name?
do you even remember anything?
i remember the light of your eyes
i remember when you were mine
i live my life in the ground
but i’m never alone
anxiety’s fingers
still stuck in my bones
i’ve made soil my home
eyes shut, they’ve been sewn
no place to go
no place to roam
never home
and always alone
no place to go
no place to call home

what what why

i built my whole life
around being alone
turns out i was wrong
your ghost lives in my bones
the first year i thought thats how it’s supposed to be. ​
the second year i got desperate and begged you to leave. ​
the third and fourth and your spirit still refused to set me free. ​
it’s been five f-cking years
and your ghost still guides me.​
five f-cking years
and you’re still trapped inside me.​
five f-cking years
and your ghost still guides me.​
sentimentality keeps getting the best of me.​

f-ck
let me be free.​