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james corden, lawrence dai – late late show recap rap game of thrones lyrics

let me break it down for you real quick

king robert died on the iron throne
but cersei will not be alone
jamie lannister made his sister his bae
turns out its not only kings that he slays
there’s robb arya sansa and bran
daenerys married aquaman
all these houses it’s hard to keep straight
did that kid just breastfeed ….i swear he’s like 8

bran stark became a cripple
two dudes shaved their nipples
khal drogo fell apart
dany ate a horse’s heart
her brother’s head turned to gold
jon snow left for the cold
sansa liked geoffrey till he k!lled her dad
ned stark is gone and now i’m just sad

that’s just the first season
so don’t you go running
please bend the knee
cause winter is coming
2x

verse 2
jon snow met some wildings
one that was hot
then he met white walkers
who were decidedly not
the bad guys marched south
to make mankind fall
but unlike trump the north has a wall

baratheons stormed the blackwater bay
intending to make the lannisters pay
the odds for joffrey looked quite dire
until tyrion whipped out his wildfire
theon greyjoy lost his b-lls
then the wildlings scaled the wall
unsullied grey worm was a hunk
turns out he was also missing his junk

jon snow and ygritte became a pair
brienne of tarth fought a bear
robb took a stand
jamie lost his hand
instead of white
a wedding was red
robb talisa and catelyn
they’re dead

that scene was so brutal
caused me to start drinking
giorgio armani (george r.r. martin) what the h-ll were you thinking

verse 3
joffrey was poisoned after taking a gulp
the mountains squashed viper’s head to a pulp
tyrion’s dad stole his chick
so he k!lled them both
then joined up with khaleesi
for personal growth
cersei flexed her power
played too many games
got captured and forced on a long walk of shame
jon snow got promoted
which made us all cheer
and stannis won’t win father of the year
daenerys freed slaves to join her bandwagon
she should have been watching how to train your dragon
to bravos is where arya fled
and then the night king raised the dead
the internet
when you know nothing jon snow
boy am i glad to watch hbo

verse 3
the battle of b-st-rds really made me sweat
but then sansa fed ramsay to his own pet
melisandre brought
jon snow back from the dead
turns out she’s not as young as she once said
bran saw the future
and also went blind
there were lots of white walkers
no not that kind
khaleesi suffered her first real defeat
arya k!lled walder after serving kids meat
but no other scene made me cry more
you know his name
hodor hodor hodor

verse 4
arya and sansa finally reunited
they sang in a car
we were all so excited
bran became the three eyed raven
punished little finger form misbehaving
the starks may actually get what they want

jon snow accidentally had s-x with his aunt
euron wants to be a cersei’s beau
let’s not forget about thi0s cameo
jorah got grey scaly skin
tormund wore a giant grin
there were 3 mighty dragons not one or two
then the knight king turned one of them blue
the wall came down with an icy blast
at least we saw jon snows -rs-
for fans of the show
the haze is starting to clear
in just four more days
winter is here
and that’s game of thrones
now you’re in the loop
that bit took 67 hours and 4 minutes
shout out lawrence dai
late late show 2019

- james corden lawrence dai lyrics

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