john mulaney – my home court lyrics
[intro]
[man]: thanks for the lesson today, ann!
[ann]: be sure to ice that tennis elbow! say, do you know where the co-op board meets?
[man]: in the multi-purpose room. why? are you lost?
[ann]: no. i have a meeting… to be approved!
i’m a pro down at the bubble
i teach tennis for my pay
i don’t mean your board much trouble
but may i join this game of doubles?
can i play if i can pay?
you’ll have questions with some topspin
and my answers may be lobs
but if you serve then i will volley
and we’ll rally ’til it’s folly
and i’ll earn 8k’s key fob
the world out there is made of only gr-ss and clay
give me concrete, be a sport
i can conquer on that court
that apartment, my home court
i can picture that studio
fitted out with my style
a brown and beige kind of mood, you know
and metro hex green tile
a framed navratilova
hanging just above the sofa
and the brown and the beige
and the brown and the beige
and the brown
there’s a nude by avadon
just above the toilet
a naked guy with pubic hair and he’s sort of…
i won’t spoil it
the right erotic art
says i’m s-xual but smart
and the brown and the beige
and the brown and the beige
and the brown!
i’m gonna make a life up there
(and the brown and the beige, and the brown and the beige)
with floor to ceiling teak
(and the brown and the beige, and the brown and the beige)
it’s a palace of 500 square but it’s polynesian chic
don’t think it’s an insane wish that my chairs be winged and danish
and the brown and the beige
and the brown and the beige
and the brown!
i’m laying my dreams on you
i already bought a fondue!
and the brown and the beige
and the brown and the beige
and the beige and the brown!
with the brown and the beige
and the brown and the beige
and the brown (brown!)
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