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johnny sebastian – how to sell a penny for a dollar lyrics

(check)

[verse 1]
i got a 36 on my act (woah)
ok i’m kidding (alright yeah)
but for a second you believed me, right?
yeah that’s step one: confidence
stay positive with a good handshake and posture
’cause what kind of offer is a penny for a dollar?
well what kind of offer is a pill that makes you taller
or can make your hair grow longer
but if there’s a market on that, there’s a market on this
so have confidence
the canvas to a con is looking nice and acting like you’d never do them wrong
confidence
so don’t lie, just prеsent the best vеrsion of yourself
capisce? capisce

[verse 2]
and this leads to the next piece of information
that will allow you to properly extract money from your patient
step two: stretch the truth
once again, not lying, just pretending and doing what you have to do
like if i painted this penny silver and told you it was a silver dollar from 1922
that’s the truth to you
see it’s really like acting
i’m just enacting a deal and you’re reacting
so where’s the lie?
do you see? i see
capisce? capisce, let’s move on
[verse 3]
step three: know your customer
know what they want and how to get it, that one dollar’s yours (oh)
you need to +n+lyze their shirt, shoes, walk, smile
lemme repeat that: shirt, shoes, walk, smile
first the shirt, is it worn, suave, sewn?
start of the deal by saying, “you know i have a shirt just like that at home”
when you don’t
you’re weaving a poem for a dollar to own
and then go, “oh nice shoes”
are they expensive? start looking for entrance
go on the offensive
(i wonder what your rent is)
and then the walk, are they c+cky, are they a chip off the block, are they the life of the party
just put them in a box and nail it! (finally)
(next)
and then the smile, fake or real
exploit the joy, double down for the deal

[bridge]
are you down for the steal?
the market appeal
i’m living like a general ’cause the market is sealed
when i was a private i used to whine about this garbage
but now i am the seller, not the sucker who bought it
like a soldier who is willin’ to k!ll women and children
for the greater glory of god and the nation that he lives in
i’m a businessman who’s ready and willing to k!ll everyone in this building
to move from a cubicle to my penthouse in the ceiling
[verse 4]
i used confidence, stretched the truth, and knew you
we’re in this for the same thing, i’ll do what you do
what do you want? from me you can get it
i don’t swindle, i sell, don’t forget it
i don’t swindle, i do what i must for the people i trust
i don’t make friends, i make customers
with a leash and a collar
that’s how to sell a penny for a dollar
people are mammals to me
(saving private johnny)

- johnny sebastian lyrics

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