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jus daze – comfort of comforters lyrics

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a crippled individual whose gifts are beyond lyrical
can’t prohibit physical, thoughts you call me in critical
emotions where your mind state isn’t pivotal, it’s pitiful
that you say i am what you are and i’m the one invincible
i wrote this rhyme two in the morning in my car
drunk, all alone, just staring at the stars
unaware of who i was outside the bar
unfamiliar faces where n-body knows who you are
but the reason i started writing this rhyme
was ’cause i was going through a kinda difficult time
i found myself gaining fame but losing loved ones
i feel like n-body knows what it’s like becoming “someone”
plus, i kinda wish i had a trust fund
’cause working check to check makes money add up to none
with no hmo and no healthcare
i’m too proud to beg or be on welfare, so
i wonder if i kill myself
would it equal a trip to h-ll with a clean bill of health?
would anyone even care?
or be sad if i wasn’t there?
i don’t have the b-lls to ask people so i won’t dare
i wanna enjoy the comfort of comforters in the summer
in an air conditioned room with a beautiful woman lover
but i never trusted women as much as i trust my mother
and even 100% fully i couldn’t trust her
i feel like i’m too coward to kill myself
and too afraid to ask for help on how to heal myself
but i ain’t afraid to die and that sh-t ain’t a lie
it’s just part of the reason why
i continued writing this rhyme at 3:30
’cause to let go of the hurting
depression leaves, i grieve but it keeps resurfacing
i can’t front, i’m trying to snap out of it
’cause for every ounce of happiness i feel a deeper sadness
i guess i’m sick and twisted in your eye
and tomorrow is full of sorrow and tear filled as i cry
and bring a new day in
’cause i believe in god, but that also means i believe in satan
and he always tries to find a way in
if the kitchen is hot, my hand’s on the stove flaming
pain is real, that’s why the truth hurts
what’s valuable to me, to others has no worth
like myself, i feel privileged to be on earth
but if i die, i’ll feed the planet as i rot under dirt
so am i worth more dead or alive?
does it even matter?
should i try to survive?
i said i believe in god, so i’m hoping there’s a heaven
and i ain’t f-ck up too bad so i can get in
maybe i’m forgetting
the sun is rising in the east
but in the rest of the world it just setting