king fantastic – guide to safely petting cougars lyrics
[verse 1: k!ller reese one]
she was forty-five years a-super
met her at the hollywood bowl, my seats were super
be very very quiet reese is hunting cougar
pinot grigio to the ho i maneuver (yo!)
“my name’s mauricio, and to tell the truth
i should have practiced what the f-ck i was gon’ say to you”
and when she laughed her t-ts bounced up and down
in that sundress please undress
i’m hooked on this blank-blank
from the cl-ss of ’84 though (what you know about that?)
she got grandkids too (what you know about that?)
we shot the sh-t for another quick bit
when you get a few ticks, give a young man a hick
[hook]
she was a dime back in ’99
now she ain’t quite that but the b-tch is still fine
and when i get her on her spine
she slow-f-cks to sleep that makes your n-gga weep (yeah!)
i’d rather f-ck with your moms
because she’s past being silly and her p-ssy’s the bomb
and i remind her of yo’ daddy
that remind her of her twenties and a time when she was happy
[hook cont.]
she’s always upbeat
and it’s always her treat
n-gga, cheers to your momma (hey!)
x4
[verse 2: k!ller reese one]
she respects a real nig
and when you move out the house, we gon’ do it real big
we gon’ gut your whole room
we gon’ put mirrors on the ceiling
we gon’ f-ck and do shrooms
she don’t go to coach-lla
she is more purple rain than she is rockafeller
my little soccer mamasita
married a milf, all pleasure and no guilt
my brand new lady friend, she stay in the pocket
she ain’t a f-cking scatterbrain, she be on the topic
she’s from another time and sp-ce
she has been around the block and you can see it on her face
[hook]
she was a dime, back in ’99
now she ain’t quite that, but the b-tch is still fine
and when i get her on her spine
she slow-f-cks to sleep, that makes your n-gga weep (yeah!)
i’d rather f-ck with your moms
because she’s past being silly, and her p-ssy’s the bomb
and i remind her of your daddy
that remind her of her twenties and a time when she was happy
[hook cont.]
she’s always upbeat
and it’s always her treat
n-gga, cheers to your momma (hey!)
x4
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