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kyd heartless – chemical peace lyrics

[verse 1]
i need the chemical peace
the temporary release
mindless i find it to be
the worst escape for me and the
first place i run to
whenever i don’t want to
face what this has come to
i learned how to cope by learning to run
back when i still felt some hope
and not so f-cking numb
the truth chokes me up like the smoke from this blunt
all the things that i’ve done
who and what i’ve become

my mind, he’s a m-s-ch-st
my heart isn’t having it
saddened by the savage
who’s always attacking it
that would be my psyche
i’m convinced he doesn’t like me
he always wants to fight me
a little monster in my mind telling me lies
(you f-cking piece of sh-t)
you don’t deserve to be alive
the peace i seek is these drugs i’m breathing and snortin’
pushing away the memories til the morning

[chorus]
tell me can you feel it
i think i can feel it, i think i can feel it
but tell me do you need it?
i think i just needed something to believe in
heyo, heyo
as it comes and it goes, as it comes and it goes
i think that we know that
it won’t always be so

[verse 2]
i used to mutter nonsense to mask my conscience
let’s be honest there’s a reason i smoke so much chronic
i wish i didn’t have any cares
but the truth is i am very scared and i feel so false and fake
like i am literally a man made of mistakes
and i feel so f-cking ashamed
the evidence is known
i will reap what i’ve sown
but right now i feel sick
and just want to go home

well i remember when i tried to k!ll myself back in seventh grade
ocd had torn apart my brain
the pain was more than i could take
just wanted to escape
didn’t care that i’d be missed
but my mom walked in and she flipped
when she saw the plastic bag down past my lips
i wish i could go back to that twelve year old kid and
give him a hug
tell him someday you’ll grow up
find more peace and love
than you could need or want

they say you really die twice
first when you lose your breath
then a second time when there’s no memories of you left
and if this is h-ll i can’t imagine heaven
cause every breath is a blessing and i’m guessing you’re forgetting

and i always am forgetting when my life gets depressing
but i’m bettin’ that if you found a way out right now
someone’s heart would break into a hundred thousand
million little pieces
and you can’t fix that
but you could fill in every scratch
try to glue it all back
the damage shows but there’s a certain pride in that
see night’ll always come back
so you might as well
take a nap in the starlight relax and

- kyd heartless lyrics

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