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lanternfly – the indoctrination into nothing (live) lyrics

outside my window i saw two people hugging
it lasted a long time and you could tell it was goodbye for quite a while
i found it quite beautiful and pondered whether this was their indoctrination
into love, loss, and grief
losing something lovely yet brief

this indoctrination theory i’ve been pondering
whilst the newfangled valley of flesh surrounds me
it’s such a small thing
you can’t make sense of it
but i wonder what she meant when it was in that tone she said

“oh you”
“oh you”

i miss laughing that much
i miss being so sure
though what am i missing?
what am i nostalgic for?
to see thе surface or face the facts; thе two sides of my mind
i’d often choose to make nothing mine
god, to return to that ignorance except far less mean
and pretend everyone loves me for their perception of me

isolation causes naturally the mind to wander
a frailty so deep it dilutes man to machine
and deepens the connection the soul has to the mind
the amount of info at my tips knows no mercy nor how to stop
i do everything only with myself in mind
and yet i’m never pleased with the result i find
i beg and plead for some new ambition or being
but fear ever leaving
these tears aren’t mine i promise you my dear
i carry them for two when my dents are conceived

this indoctrination theory i wonder to myself
is this entire being singular without help?
i remember a past boy with ambitions so naive
and yet i have to commend his sincerity
suddenly i launched myself into this pile
or should i say i kept myself from seeing it at all?

i’ve hit a wall
i’ve hit a wall

the past is nothing but a black purgatory
a blank canvas for me to paint
my entire life and who i wish i was
romanticizing a dead boy from long ago
perhaps all these memories are just me lying to myself with hyperbole
perhaps this indoctrination theory is nothing but a scapegoat to explain why i’m unhappy with myself

how should i explain this indoctrination theory?
a singular moment in which you are conceived
your entire life and the person you become
is based around in that moment your decision
and i guess in my moment i didn’t even react
for my indoctrination seems to be into nothing
i’d say that’s how i feel however
as i play these i notes i feel the aforementioned swell
one could consider it massively overwhelming
a mass catharsis +rg+smic and surreal
consider that the birth of ben as lanternfly
naming myself after an invasive species seems to clarify
[spoken]

i’m suffocating
all this husk has become
is the words it’s known

the melodies are more than man
monotony is a nasty, vile, parasite, isn’t it?

everything burns down around me
everything burns down
everything burns down

wait!
hold on, wait, wait
just try not to think about it for the night
you idiot! idiot! idiot! idiot!

one, two, three, four
one, two, three, four
one, two, three, four
one, two, three, four

i am sprinting as fast i can in this hall of millions
i believe in vain i am being chased
oh
thank you very much, have a wonderful night

- lanternfly lyrics

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