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lil dimwit – hobbit feet lyrics

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i use my socks to cover up
a secret i don’t share
i do not want to be abrupt
so you better beware
my toenails look like gargoyles
on quasimodo’s toes
but they look the most like a kind of foot
that everybody knows

why do my feet look like hobbit feet
i just want to know
if i shave my leg hair
it comes back worse when it grows
peter jackson’s makeup designer
really did me wrong
i hate the way my feet look
that’s the whole point of this whole song

there are palaces of calluses
that could never be removed
and hair on top of every toe
like ten weird tiny dudes
it’s hard having feet like these
hating yourself from below the knees
the only other ones who know
are merry, pippin, sam and frodo
why do my feet look like hobbit feet
i just want to know
if there was a competition
my feet would go pro
i could weave baskets with my leg hair
because it is so strong
i’ve tried to get hired in the shire
just to look like i belong

my ankles toes and heals
are perfect replicas
when someone says those look like hobbit feet
i roll my eyes like duh
even gollum’s feet look better than mine
at least that’s how i feel
it’s hard having hobbit feet
because they have zero appeal

why do my feet look like hobbit feet
i just want to know
ive been told i can make a ton of dough
if i joined a circus show
i would go to the doctor but
i guess there’s nothing wrong
i may have hobbit feet but don’t worry ladies
i ain’t got no hobbit dong
sing it with me
i ain’t got a hobbit dong

he ain’t got a hobbit dong
he ain’t got a hobbit
he ain’t got a hobbit
i ain’t got a hobbit dong

still my feet still look so wrong



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