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lxmur – his was the highest bid lyrics

[intro]
i don’t think that everything with me is right or what it should be
i feel like this deal i have made makes a future something i will not see
i’m, im very scared
i‚ i think this is only short term
in the t&c’s he was very firm
very clear
i was meant to be content but now filled with fear
this is all wrong

[verse 1]
this is it going out like led
become the greatest and ur mine that’s what he said
too d-mn cold and heart is broke given a time to remind myself that i’m embedded in a folk
deal was made now praying on a hoax
no reply as my signature on the note
guaranteed a few years of being the goat
but when that’s done he’s coming for my throat
coming my heart
coming for my ears nose eyes
taking everything to strip it off and reach inside to grab the darkness he desires
still cold when home be fire
called out for the messiah seeing every high note as the angels in the choir
but i’ve been shut out from that opportunity as i was lead into temptation by the most evilest ent-ty and buyer

[verse 2]
in my head letters adjoining like cursive i’m rehearsing the written verse thirst of coming first immersed in being hurt under a curse of being at my worst when i close my eyes and visualise the darkened sky and asking why it’s so wrong to be me
praying to fly spread my wings and glide understanding now adaptation is key
if i don’t have it then it’s more metaphorical then more what i need
but as i’ve been stuck inside so i can hide
maybe the futures too far for the eye to see
guess i’m now going on the mature stage and then i can be free
but i fly in my mind hope i find a reason to not resign from my life or i’ll die quite literally
learning courses on metamorphosis believing it can happen to me
but believing and praying ain’t as simple as giving your wish when you plead
now on with the dough it’s not what u need
kinda the irony
too much hypocrisy
being a liar liar should receive a fee
but being that you’ll just get off for free
we were given equal amounts of everything
and then there was greed
poverty‚robbery‚ lack of honesty implanted like a seed
hatred be the only source of food that will feed
all my life i just wanted to succeed
but now i’m the disciple of his dark and twisted needs
i’m herding all my burdens into another place
i raced but placed last heart beating so fast
now in handcuffs getting heart attack going cardiac
told i’ll see a light but it’s just black

[verse 3]
this ain’t my night with flashing lights of photography
this my night where flashing lights strip me for my honesty
and honestly everything about me is wrong
i’m an anomaly and in this world i be the p-wn
i be the pain
i be the pressure
i be the reckless
i be dementia
i be depression
i be disease
i be the dead but i’m still walking with ease
out on these streets i be so cold
always heartbroken misspoken on a winning hand i’ll fold
no ambition for gold just ambition for pain
terrified of myself i’m turning insane
i’m just sc-m, vermin and rain
every bad thing u can imagine it seeps out my veins

- lxmur lyrics

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