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marante - timmy's goodbye lyrics

(chorus)
too many tears, too many many scars
it honestly feels, like i’m tearing apart
i don’t wanna be alive
i just wanna say goodbye

(verse 1)
i slowly
walk to my momma’s room, she’s crying to sleep
tears running down her cheeks i haven’t seen her in weeks
she doesn’t see me.. her tears made the floor wet, i kiss her on the forehead
like she did to me at night before bed
i’m sittin’ on the floor next to her bed and go to look
under it and discover this o-old dusty photo book
i flip it, flashes of memories of the past
pictures of me growing up fast, i even see my dad
him and i having breakfast.. that’s all i’ll remember him for, cuz i was about four when he left us
f-ck him, now i’m nowhere.. just like my father
if he didn’t want me man then why the f-ck should i bother?!
i need my mom but i lost her, can’t hear my voice when i call her
i don’t understand.. what the h-ll is going on here?
i’m off the, floor now i’m headed to benson
the only friend i had in school but doesn’t know that i’m missing
but who the f-ck am i kidding? did he actually listen or was he only there cuz i’m an addict that had some prescriptions
i have no one to visit..
i’m just walking around, i was bullied everywhere but i felt lost in this town
i head to this alley way, i can’t believe what i found
i finally see my body just lying dead on the ground
it’s hard to bare but..n-body was there for me!
n-body cared for me!! this life’s unfair to me the only thing there would be..

(chorus)
too many tears, too many many scars
it honestly feels, like i’m tearing apart
i don’t wanna be alive
i just wanna say goodbye

(verse 2)
lookin’ over my body, i’m not sad for a minute
good riddance you b-st-rd, i’m f-cking glad that you did it
something you actually finished, there’s nothing i’m missin’
of abuse, poverty, and sickness i’m no longer a victim
sh-t, i see someone running towards me screamin’
checking to see if i’m breathin’
haha, i’ma start leavin’
i hear an ambulance speedin’, i walk away from that block
i’m shocked, i really thought that i would lay there and rot
i walk, to benson’s and i’m surprised that he’s up
it’s 3:51 am and he keeps on calling me up
he’s worried as f-ck… wow, someone answered
the look in his face and his stammer
is what inside made me shatter – i mattered
cuz he was crying at the top of his lungs
i was standing there anxious to witness what was to come
his parents asked him what’s wrong.. and that’s when i died
he said “the only friend i ever had committed suicide”…

(chorus)
too many tears, too many scars
i honestly felt, like i was falling apart
i just wanna be alive
i don’t wanna say goodbye

- marante lyrics

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